The middle part was awesome. The middle part flowed, had beautiful imagery, and was just in general gorgeous.
The beginning I didn't like quite as much. "She washes away the darkness of men's souls" is just too clunky of a line; maybe split it into two or edited to a more manageable length; that'll help give the poem better flow.
As far as the last part, I enjoy the repetition of "the loxahatchee rive is black as pitch," but I think there's something off about the last line's rhythm, and I can't exactly name what. It might just be that I'm going insane, but I'd encourage you to look at that line and see if it does need to be smoothed a bit or not.
But back to that middle, I really do love it. There's nothing I can critique about it; the heart of the poem is impeccable.
Great concept for the poem too, good mood and feel to it as well. And I love the emotion behind it.
Hope this review helped! Happy Review Day! Keep writing!
From the Flaming Keys,
-Tgirly
Points: 1147
Reviews: 374
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