The Veil - Chapter 32 Part 2

by megsug

Published July 17, 2015

E - Everyone

In The Veil

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Lekan had not come back, and Conya had yet to leave her room. Obi wasn’t going to let himself prowl the house, drawing attention to his anxiety. Though, he figured, smiling wryly at the estate accounts he should be studying, there were many reasons for anxiety in his life right now. His staff would have to have clairvoyance or mind reading skills to know he was hiding a princess. Several came into his office to thank him, and he accepted the appreciation warmly, thanking them for their service in turn. They all apologized for interrupting him, but he could only wave the words away. It wasn’t as if he was actually getting work done anyway.

The day was wasted as far as Lekan and his preparation went. Lekan was a lost cause. If Obi could let the boy go ruin himself, maybe he could breathe again. Maybe he could actually figure out Conya, and what he wanted to do with her.

Mr. Fughi came in, just staring at him, obviously still peeved at his master’s treatment of the princess. “Everyone’s gone. I don’t know when Lady Eshe is going to come out of her room or when Lord Eshe is going to come back from wherever he went. You should start moving now.”

If the butler kept up his terse attitude with him, Obi would have to put his foot down. As it was, he would just ignore him. Standing up, he headed toward the basement. “Find somewhere else to be useful, Mr. Fughi.”

Blinking, the butler frowned. “Excuse me?”

Obi shrugged. “You know how it goes. The less people who know a secret the least likely it is to get out.” He waved his hand as he continued. “You know it’s nothing against you.” Maybe he wouldn’t have to deal with Mr. Fughi’s disdain later after all. He made a point not to turn to see if Mr. Fughi followed his instructions, sending the point that he didn’t question whether his orders would be followed or not.

The basement was silent when he closed the door. Shadows jumped upon the walls with the dance of the flickering candle, and he wondered as he ghosted down the stairs if what was so comforting to an old man like him was frightening to a young girl who’d grown up with the unwavering assurance of electricity.

Not so scary for bold Iheyna, apparently. She was curled up in a blanket, sleeping soundly. He watched her, a little unsure of what to do with a slumbering adolescent he needed to move. Finally, he knelt beside her and shook a shoulder. “Princess, I’ve a room prepared for you.”

Blinking up at him, she took several minutes to wake up. She stretched, squeaking a little, going from half asleep to awake in a moment. “Okay.”

“I need you to be very quiet as we move through the house. There are a few other people around.” He folded the blanket when she stood and picked up the candle as she watched with the frankness of someone used to being worked for. “Follow very close behind me all the way to your room. If we run into someone, I want to have the chance of hiding you.” He started up the stairs, glancing back every third step to make sure she was still behind him as if she were a specter that would disappear.

Upon reaching the door, Obi found that he had to take several breaths to work up the nerve to open it. When he finally did, it was only a bit, allowing him to glance around before letting the princess out and shutting the door. He got a glimpse of her face before hurrying on again. It was tight and determined. She didn’t look afraid, just aware of the necessity to get where she was going. He liked that, he decided.

It had taken him awhile to decide what room he wished to house her in. He didn’t trust her not to make noise, so it couldn’t be too close to anyone else’s living quarters. It couldn’t be strange for him to be in the area, so it couldn’t be too close to the servants. It couldn’t be a room the maids cleaned frequently. At first, he’d thought there couldn’t be a window, but finding a room without a window that met all the other qualifications and wouldn’t be a glorified cell was easier said than done. Towards the back of the house would be better. That way if she was stupid enough to hang by the windows, the most damage done would be a shocked gardener. He put her high on the third floor because most gardeners don’t look up, and the maids didn’t like cleaning the third floor much because the family barely used it. Granted, Lekan’s room was up there, but he was on the other side of the house with a view of the street. Plus, Obi was fairly sure he could house a menagerie up here, and Lekan wouldn’t notice.

Ihenya stayed close to him on the staircase, bumping into his legs from time to time.

Halfway up the stairs to the third floor, he heard footsteps. Freezing, he gripped the rail when the princess ran into him. He heard her take a breath to object and whirled around, covering her mouth with his hand. Her wide, outraged eyes in the context of her delicate face would have been laughable.

Had a servant stayed behind? He released Ihenya, motioning for her to be silent. He bent down and breathed into her ear, “Fourth door on the left.”

“Obi?” Conya’s voice floated down the hall below them as he urged the princess up the stairs.

He straightened his clothes and took a deep breath before going down the stairs, forcing himself not to look behind him. He thought maybe he heard the click of a door closing when he turned to run into Conya with an easy smile.

She glanced up at the stairs. “What were you doing up there?” He couldn’t tell what she’d been doing in her room for so long. Her face was clean of any emotion spent.

“Oh, just seeing if Lekan was back.” He resisted the urge to tap his fingers against his leg but became worried that he looked suspiciously stiff, so his fingers wound up dancing along his leg anyway.

Frowning, Conya looked at the stairs again. “Is he? I didn’t hear him come in.”

“He’s not. I was mistaken.”

The conversation lagged, and they just looked at each other. Unspoken words filled the air between them. She was suspicious, and he was wondering if what Lekan said was true. She wanted to know all of the intrigue that was going on in his life, and he wanted to hear about everything that happened while he was out of the country. She wanted to know the real reason all of the servants were gone, and he wanted to know what she’d been doing in her room. She wanted to throw herself at him and kiss him. He wanted her to tell him what she planned to do after Lekan left. She wanted to find out why he’d missed lunch. He wanted to hold her, press his lips to hers.

They couldn’t breathe, all of the words shouting around them without voices.

She forced something new into the cacophony first. “You need to eat.” The simple statement curled around his body and rested at his feet, silencing everything else.

They still stared at each other.

“I sent the servants out. We don’t have a cook.”

The roar threatened to start again, but Conya shook off the question of why, choosing to grin at him instead. She took his hand on an impulse. “Surely we could find something down there. We’re two intelligent individuals.” She tugged on his hand and started down the stairs to the first floor.

“You’ve never worked a stove in your life.” Obi found his lips twitching up despite himself. He’d check on the princess later after he made sure Conya was in her room for the night. For now, he would let the giddy rush of sneaking into the kitchen overtake everything else.

Their pace had somehow morphed into a jog and was quickly accelerating to a dash. Conya glanced back at him, and the look in her eyes would have stopped him if she wasn’t pulling him forward. She was a fairy, and he was fully under her spell.

“You don’t have to heat everything up to eat it.” They were in the dark of the dining room now, the newborn moonlight floating through the windows, highlighting her blonde hair, making it glow. “Maybe Cook will have been baking recently.” She pushed the door to the servant’s stairs open and led him down, unfaltering in the dark, refusing to slow down when common sense would ask her to.

He ran into her when she stopped in the kitchen. It was dark. There were windows on the other side of the room, so they were bathed in shadow.

She turned to face him, breathing a little hard and fast. For a moment he was sure she was going to kiss him, and he felt like a youth again, unsure of whether to move in or let her do the work.

Putting her hands on his shoulders, she beamed at him. He could just see the glint of her teeth. “Give yourself this time, Obi. Put away all the juggling balls. Just for dinner.” She just stood there, staring into his face until he nodded, and whirled away. She started patting the walls, giggling a little. “We need to find the light switch.”

He ran his fingers along the walls, feeling empty and full at the same time. He knew he should say something soon or risk Conya worrying, but he had no idea what to say. He felt like he could float as he purposefully turned off every whirring part of his brain until his grin wasn’t bewildered but wholehearted. His stomach growled, causing Conya to laugh which made him laugh too.

Finally, the switch was found and flipped on, and they both blinked at each other in the sudden light. After a few moments of dopey grins, they scanned the counters.

“Cook keeps a remarkable kitchen,” Obi remarked as he studied the spotless room, his stomach whining.

Resting her hands on her hips, Conya moved forward and began to open cabinets. “Surely there’s food hidden somewhere. We didn’t eat dinner. I’ll have to have words with the woman if she throws uneaten food out.”

He joined in the search, going high as she went low. Opening and closing the shining wooden doors as they fell into a rhythm. He really was impressed with the chef. The stone floors were spotless. The countertops uncluttered and wiped clean. The heat of a day’s worth of cooking still lingering.

Conya’s squeak of excitement had Obi looking down. She backed up, pulling out a tray of pastries surely meant for tomorrow’s breakfast. She set it on the counter and grinned up mischievously at him.

His stomach demanded he eat at the soonest possible moment. Picking up a pastry, he bit into it and discovered they were filled with jam. “My favorite.” He collected the filling on a finger before it spilled out, sucking on it before taking another bite.

Smiling, Conya wiped at the corner of his mouth. “You missed some.” She grabbed her own pastry and took a generous bite.

Perhaps it was because he hadn’t eaten all day or because the meal was stolen. Or maybe because it reminded him of the guilty childhood days of eating dessert for dinner. Or because Conya’s bright smile was the perfect seasoning, but Obi couldn’t remember a meal so delicious.

After a third of the tray was gone, their fingers and mouths sticky, and their hunger more than satiated, they returned the tray, gleefully guessing what the cook would do when she discovered some of her food was missing. Turning the light off, they meandered through the house again.

“I know,” Conya said through bursts of laughter, “She’ll find the pastries, etcetera. Have a temper tantrum, etcetera, and then she’ll blame Mr. Fughi.” She beamed at Obi’s laugh. “And he’ll give her that terrifying glare of his, and they’ll have a fight to the death. Whoever wins preserves their sense of honor.”

Obi seriously considered this possibility. “I think I’d be very sad to lose Mr. Fughi or our cook.”

“True, true.” Tapping the wall as she went by, Conya thought some more. “Very well. He glares. She faints straight away out of fear. He feels so bad he promises anything that could possibly make it up, and through some strange and incomprehensible set of happenings, they fall desperately in love with one another, get married, and have seven babies.” They both grinned at each other, their faces turning at the same time. The moment of unison was so strange, Conya immediately looked away, blushing a little, and Obi scratched the back of his head, clearing his throat, but their grins remained.

The house was so quiet, they could’ve thought they were the only ones in existence.

As they approached her room, Obi’s brain began to whir again, as if it realized that the woman who demanded peace would soon be silenced. Conya seemed to feel the change, and by the time they reached her door, their grins were shadows.

She didn’t hesitate to open her door and walk into her room, but she faced him as she was closing it. “Keep juggling, jester.” The click of the door closing echoed in the hallway, and Obi stood there for some time.

Comments & reviews · 4
User avatar
Deanie
Review
Deanie wrote a review Review · Sep 12, 2015

Heya Megsug!

#NaRevWriMo

I bet you thought I had forgotten about this chapter. Well, of course I hadn't and wanted more of this novel of yours! I like that this chapter was quite a bit longer than some of the previous have been. It was an easy read as the words really seem to flow together. I loved seeing Obi and Conya in this teasingly happy state. They keep switching it on and off as Obi is occupied with all the things he has keeping him busy, but that just intrigues me all the more when it comes to Conya. While Obi is caught up in all these different things she seems to be distancing herself until he becomes a free man. Not many women would have as much back-spine and independence as she does. We again, don't get to see that much of the princess. I am seriously hoping Obi and her will have a proper and deep conversation the time he goes to check on her. I know I have mentioned it before but I believe that her sub-plot is really being pushed to the backburner here.

Also, Conya seems rather unconcerned about her son. She does show some concern as to what might become of him, and was willing to help train him before today. But Obi and Lekan seem to have these two on two moments which shows that Obi's does care. But Lekan and Conya don't seem to have much of those and I would like to see a bit more in future, to be assured of that. Oh, and I do hope the rebellion/mention of the King and Queen will come in soon. It would also be good to see some of that coming into play soon.

When it comes to things you should be looking out for when reviewing like character development and relationships, setting and all that other stuff... you really do have it down to peg. I think this is one of the hardest works to continously review that I read on YWS because I simply find it so near perfection each time if I am ignoring nitpicks.

So I guess I'll just feed you my bunch of nitpicks I found and be done with it xD

Mr. Fughi came in, just staring at him, obviously still peeved


If there was one thing I know you do often that I dislike the most in your writing style is using the word 'just' when there are other words you could use which create better imagery. Don't mention him just staring, but say that he was 'staring blankly' or 'eyes boring into Obi's body' or whatever. Mostly when people use just it is a way of escaping using an adverb and sticking to the no-adverb rule. I think adverbs from time to time are okay and are preferable over the word 'just'.

The less people who know a secret the least likely it is to get out.”


I think the 'least' here should actually be less instead.

and he wondered as he ghosted down the stairs if what was so comforting to an old man like him was frightening to a young girl who’d grown up with the unwavering assurance of electricity.

Not so scary for bold Iheyna,


Look at that long sentence there. It is way too long, and simply hard to follow. I had to read it three times before I gathered what you meant to say. I did like what you tried to do here, it just needs some rewording. I would try to simplify it. My suggestion would be: ... and he acknowledged the shadows shifting along the wall as he ghosted down the stairs. He wondered if the dark shapes that comforted him frightened a young girl used to the unwavering assurance of electricity.

Apparently, it did not.

I would change that sentence simply because I didn't like that fragment of a sentence so much. But that change really is a personal one and not something which I would say really needs changing. Up to you.

The conversation lagged, and they just looked at each other. Unspoken words filled the air between them.


Again! They 'just' looked at each other. I would suggest you blend the two sentences and get rid of that tiny word. Example: The conversation lagged and they looked at each other as unspoken words filled the air between them.

That's all I have to say when it comes to this chapter. It has been a few months since updating this novel, so I hope you are still working on it! I would love to see more, as always <3 Do let me know when you post!

Deanie x

megsug replied · Sep 13, 2015

I am still working on it XD I'm back in school, so I don't have as much time, and I'm doing another LMS novel, so a lot of my current writing time goes to that, but I work on The Veil when I can because I honestly think it is some of my best work. Thanks for being so faithful!

User avatar
SpiritedWolfe
Review
SpiritedWolfe wrote a review Review · Jul 24, 2015

They there, Meg! I'm here for that The Big Review review that's due ~
(Two disclaimers: Excuse any typos as I am typing in a tablet, and as you may realize, I haven't read previous parts! So excuse any questions with obvious answers that I may ask.)

Honestly, I don't have a lot to say, especially because a lot of my confusions come from not having any context. However, there are still some things that don't really make sense to me either way.

The first is Conya. So, it seems that she realizes that Obi is up to something, and that she desperately wants to find out, but why can she not know? This chapter makes it seem like that, despite all the tensions going on in their lives, the couple (as I assume Conya is the wife) ar very content with on another. They seem to act like children again around the other. So why doesn't Obi trust her?

Also. If Conya wants to know so badly, why doesn't she investigate on her own, or even ask Obi? I'm sure there are explanations to this, but the relationship between them is shown as so strong that it doesn't seem like an issue of trust or them being in a rocky place with the other.

The next thing that sort of confused me is why are they so exhilarated by this "stealing food" from the kitchen. They are the masters, after all. And, of course, they're hungry, so they have a right to go to their own kitchen for food. Yet, they seem like they're acting all bad just by doing this. So, perhaps I'm missing something?

Final thing:

As they approached her room, Obi’s brain began to whir again, as if it realized that the woman who demanded peace would soon be silenced.


This part threw me off a little. Is this woman Conya or the princess? And how would she be silenced? And is it a good or bad thing to Obi? It seems like a powerful message that's too vague to take anything away from. Of course, not all question are probably answered here, but maybe even an extra would that would sway a feeling that Obi has about this happening.

And that's about all I have XD Sorry that it was short and I hope I helped some. (I really, really enjoyed reading things as well ~) Keep Writing,
~Wolfe

WelcomingException commented Comment · Jul 18, 2015

Hello! You asked me for some more examples, here they are!

"She turned to face him, breathing a little hard and fast" I would change this to,

"She turned to face him, breathing hard and fast." By getting rid of "a little" the sentences flows better and it feels less awkward.


"Not so scary for bold Iheyna, apparently."

"Not too scary for Iheyna, apparently." A could little changes in this one. First changing "so" to "too" and then getting rid of "bold". I understand the want to have the bold adjective to help explain a character, but it feel really out of place and instead of saying it you can show it by saying something like "not a inkling of fear crossed Iheyna's face." etc.

I hope this helps and doesn't feel too abrasive.

Keep Writing!
Corralynn.

megsug replied · Jul 18, 2015

Not abrasive at all! Thank you~

WelcomingException wrote a review Review · Jul 17, 2015

My name is Corralynn and I will be reviewing for you today!
This is a wonderful story! I haven't read the other parts yet but this part alone is very intriguing and I can tell you have put a lot of effort into it!
One little thing I noticed, I found that you added a lot of adjectives in area's I thought weren't necessary. I found it often broke up sentences making them have a bit of an awkward structure to them. By not adding in those few extra words you can get your point across faster and more fluently.
But other then that, I really enjoyed it and your writing style is very clear and easy to read!
Keep writing!
Corralynn

megsug replied · Jul 17, 2015

Thanks for the review! When you say I added a lot of adjectives in some area's could you point out an example or two? Thanks again~



One who sits between two chairs may easily fall down.
— Proverb from Romania and Russia