Qui’in looked around for a chair and frowned when she realized there wasn’t one. Dismissing the idea of perching on the unmade bed, she settled for leaning against the wall. “We’re talking about a well paying job.” She withdrew a purse, shaking it thoughtfully for Dalki to hear. “I need you to protect a boy.”
Dalki scoffed, her eyes glued to the purse. “Ma’am, I’m no one to mess with but-”
“But the boy can’t know you’re protecting him,” Qui’in continued breezily as if she hadn’t been interrupted, “and neither can anyone around him. If anyone finds out you’re around, he’ll be killed.” She watched the girl’s already narrow eyes squint suspiciously until they were barely slits.
“How did you hear about me?” Her voice was full of distrust.
Qui’in swallowed a sigh. Remembering times before she had a steady clientele, she knew a vague job was often a scam or a trap. “The way anyone hears about anything on this side of town, I know somebody. Are you any good at going unnoticed?”
Shrugging, Dalki nodded, picking up some clothes that were scattered around the room. “Yeah. Fels is better though.”
Raising an eyebrow, Qui’in shifted. This was the girl. She could see it. Of course, she would want to see Dalki’s skills just in case, but she was on the list for a reason, and she was small and unremarkable. Perfect. “The albino? The albino draws no attention?” She laughed at the idea, maybe a little cruelly.
Dalki’s brow wrinkled. “He’s very good, but if you won’t have him, I’ll take the job. Excuse me for wanting the best for you.”
Pushing herself off the wall, she moved around the room, studying the little trinkets sitting in the window sill. “You’d give the boy the job that I just offered you?” There was the bottom half of a broken glass jar, a black iridescent feather, a cloth doll looking a little worse for wear, and a coin with a hole through the middle. She wondered what they meant to the children.
Hitching her shoulders up high and keeping her face still, Dalki grunted noncommittally. “We’re partners. One person’s money is another’s.”
She was loyal. Interesting.
“You’ll have to leave your partner for this job,” Qui’in warned, pushing at the lose corner of the paper in the window to look out at the desolate street.
Dalki’s head shot up. “What do you mean?”
So she wasn’t as indifferent about the job after all.
“The boy I need you to protect is going to Velod. You’ll need to follow him.” She watched Dalki as the girl stiffened, and her face paled.
“To Velod?” Dalki whispered.
Qui’in went on alert, seeing the caution that verged on terror written plainly on Dalki’s face. “Of course. Knowing the language isn’t necessary, I suppose. It would just be hel-”
“I know the language.”
The words were said to the opposite wall as Dalki turned away, and Qui’in missed them all together. “I’m sorry?”
“I said I know the language.” The words were a snap. “How much are you offering?”
Qui’in’s curiosity was high, but she knew better than to push. She tried to feign nonchalance. Of course she didn’t care about this child’s past. “Fifteen thousand dureen. Plus this purse here.” She shook it again just to remind Dalki of its contents.
“Double it and put the purse on the bed.” She turned suddenly, hands on hips, eyes sharp. “We both know the thugs around here will stand out like a sore thumb. You could dig deeper into the underworld here, but that takes time and a lot of money. I’m assuming you don’t have one, and you might not have the other because you’re standing here. Double it or get out.”
Qui’in was glad for her veil because she couldn’t quite withhold a smile then. The girl had spunk which was promising. She’d been willing to go up higher than thirty thousand, but she wasn’t one to say no to a deal. Tossing the purse on the bed, she nodded. “You’re right. Thirty thousand it is.”
Without the cover of a veil, Dalki’s beam was obviously satisfied. “You’ll want to test me out?”
“Yes.” Qui’in was moving on to other things like Lekan’s next lesson. “Tomorrow at sunset in the park.” She held out her hand.
Dalki crossed the room in four strides and took it, shaking firmly. Soft skin met calloused, and both women recognized the yawning gap between them.
“Tomorrow,” Dalki said.
“Try to stay out of sight.” Withdrawing her hand, Qui’in started gliding toward the door. “I’ll see myself out.” She opened the door as Fels came huffing back in and stepped away to let him pass. She had barely closed the door when she heard Dalki whoop, and Fels quickly start celebrating with her. She laughed to herself as she walked down the stairs.
It was nice to hire grateful employees.
She headed toward the better side of town. There was a boy who needed her assistance.
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125,007 Literary Works • 672,817 Reviews
Oh Megusg,
Happy review day!
I'm back after my break and am ready to knock these last two reviews off my list. It would be great to be all caught up!
... but I am sitting hear wondering what on earth I am going to say about this chapter. Because it was pretty much flawless on it's own. Not a single nitpick I could pull out of here. Not a single thing I would change without nitpicking ferociously. So I will keep this short and sweet. I have to say that I am interested to know more about Dalki's past, even if Qui'in isn't too interested in delving deep herself. I wonder where she learned the language from and basically where she is from as well? Without realizing it I didn't even notice she was a character that we didn't know much about her backstory. I hope that it will come in in the future. As I asked for in my previous review you did briefly border on how she found Dalki and although it was all she would give her, I did wish we knew more as readers. She doesn't have to tell Dalki.
Another character I want to know more about is Fels. He still remains a mystery to us, and I feel like we don't see enough of him at all. He seems secondary, which is fine because not everyone has to be in the limelight - you'd have a flood of characters? But it would've been nice to see his reaction to when Qui is doubting his stealth skills, and if there is hurt on his face every time he is underappreciated or judged so quickly. I also think he should've been here for the conversations they had. I wanted to see what his reactions would be like. His role could be limited to that - getting to know him through actions alone - but I would've wanted something a bit more there.
That aside, I couldn't think of a single thing more I would comment on. Keep writing valuable and perfect chapters like this. It's going to be what gets this novel published in the end. I'm moving on to the final chapter I need to read!
Deanie x
Megsug, though I have not read from your story before, and may not be the most qualified person to review a story such as this, I am impressed by what you have created.
This story is fantastic! You did an excellent job developing your characters, and this story was fun and interesting. I like seeing the variety of emotions that you so skillfully crafted and displayed, and you did a good job of presenting the particular situation. Though I haven't read from your story below, I felt like, after having read this, that I know the characters. You showed their plights, happiness, and emotions so perfectly, and I feel like I know their plights and thoughts. Qui'in is fascinating, considering how much of a contrast she has with Dalki. Qui'in is obviously rich, from a high society, and influential. After all, there is the deal that she makes and how quickly she accepts the new terms Dalki presents. Qui'in, as we can see, also seems to have a wonderful sense of observation. I like how you used her and her thoughts to describe the deal, and make the story more refined and detailed. Qui'in describes Dalki's loyalty to Fels, the lack of indifference Dalki has to the case, and Dalki's gratitude at the end of the deal. This contrast you crafted with excellence, and it helped to add another level of depth to this thought-out story. I would love to see you continue this kind of work in the future, because this really is amazing. 
You did an excellent job presenting the scenario, and the story plays out wonderfully. I am fascinated by this boy, and the hinting of Dalki's past. What was her childhood like? From the state of the room and her fear, I can assume that it was not great at all. This part presents a lot of thought, is well-executed in every way, and leaves me asking and wondering for what is going to happen next. There is absolutely nothing that I find wrong with this composition, and I think you did great. Excellent job! This story is incredible, thoughtful, and engaging, and I look forward to seeing what you present next!