"Princess" The servant said. "Are you ready"?
"Yes." I say in reply. "Thanks Rosalind."
Yes, I am the Princess. Princess Sasha to be exact. And before you ask, yes my parents are King and Queen.
I am preparing, for the Dragon Keeper test today. My moms not thrilled about it, but this is something I really want to do. I'm 16. I get to be Dragon Keeper for ten years. That is if I get the job, and if my parents let me go.
"Mom, I have to go to take my Dragon Keeper test."
"Sasha, no."
"Yes, too bad, I'm already walking out the door." I called.
"Fine, I hope you don't get it." Mom shouted back.
"Alright, but I will, because, I have more knowledge, than those others..."
"Whatever you say dear. Have fun." Mom said sarcastically. "Also don't come crying to me when you don't get the job. Go to Rosalind."
"Fine, I don't need you anyway." I say. Then I leave proudly, like I will win.
Oh God. I thought to myself. This is just great, watch me not win and watch mom rub it in my face because I'm not good enough. Well at least Rosalind thinks I'm a good, no great girl, who believes with me.
I walked to the testing palace. Yes, it's probably weird to you that the tests are in a palace, but it's a world where, I don't know.... It's just.... Well in a palace. Don't judge.
I walked inside. The first test was the test of selflessness. I hope I pass.
I went to the room where the selflessness test was being held.
Oh God... I thought.
***
The test was insane, you could either choose to save you family or die. But I guess that's just it.... I thought I would fail, but when Alejandra, the person giving the first test, said that you wouldn't really die. I was kind of happy. So I went up to the simulation. Which apparently which is what the test was. Or the first one anyway.
***
The first one was the act of selflessness. This was to show that you treat the dragons with respect. It was a simulation with a lion. Okay this seems a little weird I thought.
The lion growled at me. I was scared, but I remembered it was just a simulation and that this lion wasn't real, and it wouldn't hurt me. It continued to growl. I had a choice of what to pick up. I could pick up a knife and try and defend myself, or I could pick up some meat, and try to distract the lion. I went for the knife when I realized I probably I wouldn't become Dragon Keeper if I have to kill this lion. So instead I picked up the meat. I sat down on the ground. My heart beating faster than race cars moving over a-hundred miles per hour. I held the meat out to the lion. I closed my eyes feeling the sweat dripping down my forehead. The lion came up to me, and took the meat. He laid down as he ate it. Then he looked up at me like I had more. He roared and I stood up scared. Then the lion looked at me. I sat back down seeing his eyes looked nice and not mean. I don't know how I could tell this, but somehow I could. I sat back down, and the lion came up to me. He sniffed my hand. He laid down, his head resting on my leg. His head felt like a giant pillow or blanket for my leg.
***
After the other tests which were just about the same thing except with worse animals like bears, and tigers, and pumas, and wolves. It was pretty pointless I thought...
***
I got home, with no results of the test. I didn't know if I made it into and got the Dragon Keeper. I really hope I did, but I didn't know. I won't know until tomorrow when I got back. No more tests luckily.
It was pretty late, I said goodnight to mother and father and went to bed. I went to bed thinking about what would happen if I did get Dragon Keeper.
***
The next day came along.... I got out of bed and Rosalind got me ready to go.
"I believe in you princess"
"Thank you Rosalind." I reply.
"Your welcome Sasha."
Rosalind walked me out the door as if I was going to my first day of Kindergarten.
I walked into the testing building. It was about 20 feet tall, with 40 testing rooms. I walked to room 29 which was my testing room. Alejandra was there waiting for the five teens to get there.
I'm not sure if I will make it. I'm up against some of the kindest girls I know.
"I'm sorry for all of the four of you who don't make it. Only one of you can win." Alejandra said when everyone arrived.
"Now the person who got the Dragon Keeper is..."
She waited about five minutes to say it.
"Just say it already." Mollie Stones said.
"Okay,okay." Alejandra said. "The new Dragon Keeper is... Sasha Blake."
OMG! I was so excited when she said my name...
***
I went home with a certificate. I marched into mother's room.
"Look mother. I got it. I'm the new Dragon Keeper."
"That's nice dear...." Mother said. "Wait what? You got it? I didn't think you were that nice."
"Gee, thanks for the support mom. I thought you loved me, but unlike you I'm proud, and Father will be too. So will Rosalind."
I stormed out of mother's room tears in my eyes. I went to my room, where Rosalind was waiting for me.
"What's wrong dear?" Rosalind asked. "Did you not get it."
"No, Rosalind, it's not that. I did get it. It's just that... Mother isn't proud. Mother doesn't care. She doesn't care about me, she doesn't love me."
I started to sob.
Rosalind came up and hugged me. She said.. "Don't worry Sasha, your Father and I care. You will be a great Dragon Keeper and you will show your Mother how good you are. You will prove to her that you are good enough. You will show her what kind of girl you are. You will prove that you are the Dragon Keeper. No one else. You will do this. You can do this."
"Thanks Rosalind."
I went to show father my certificate. He was proud.
***
I got ready to go up to the Dragons. I put on some jeans which were from when I was younger, but they still fit surprisingly. I put on a tee-shirt. I left to go. I went into this special building with the Dragon's Keeper card they gave me so I can enter the Dragon's world. I walked upstairs. So many stairs. There were about 7 flights. I finally walked up to the portal. I swiped my card, and the doors to the dragon world opened. I walked inside, and it was the most amazing thing I've ever seen in my life...
It's time for the new Dragon Keeper.
End of chapter
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139,347 Literary Works • 672,540 Reviews
Hi my name is Tsunami and I am here to give you a great long review. Oh and if I say anything that is rood in this review please tell me because I don’t mean to be rood at all.
I like the characters to so fare. I like they have different personalities. I know if all of your characters had the same personality's people will just think the story is lame and boring. So I think you are doing a great job with your story so fare. 
So that is all good.
Okay let’s get started with what I like about the chapter.
I like the name of the story I think so fare it soots what I have read so great choices of name.
Okay I am now going to start the review.
Okay over here I think you can describe the servant a little. Like you can do something like this.
See it sounds much better.
Okay and over here it is the same. I want you to describe what the place looks like. You know what I mean.
Okay over here can you describe what her mother’s room looks like?
Okay and over here you can describe what the card looked like and what the doors looked like were they old and falling apart?
So that is all.
Oh and happy review day from your new friend Tsunami.
Hi dogsrule i would like to start off by saying that I really like your story.
It was very intriguing with lots of humor and so far it has an interesting plot, to add on to that the title drew me in as i am a fan of dragons and they happen to be my second favorite kind of mythical creatures.
I like the main character so far; she has a seemingly sarcastic and cocky tone or maybe its just me. It seems like the mom doesn't have a good relationship with Sasha or perhaps there is something deeper not allowing her to believe in her that wasn't revealed yet.
As for flaws so far the only flaws i have noticed are a few grammatical errors for instance "Which apparently which is what the test was. Or the first one anyway." There is a second unneeded which in the sentence which could throw the reader off. I'm not sure if this was an error or i'm just overthinking it but here it says who believes with me rather than in me "Well at least Rosalind thinks I'm a good, no great girl, who believes with me."
Also like i mentioned earlier unless you add it in, in a later chapter more exposition on Sasha and her mothers relationship. Other than that i liked your story and will read more of it.
Hey, dogsrule! Adrian is here for another review. I apologize if this doesn't make much sense, I've been rather scattered so most of my thoughts are hard to actually write down. Anyway, on with the actual review.
I'm well aware that this is the first chapter, but for this first paragraph I'm going to talk about the introduction. Many people tend to skip over introductions and prologues in fantasy, simply because they have such a bad rep. So, if they skip over the introduction, then they're going to be lost once they hit chapter one. When writing, you have to be aware of that and go about things accordingly.
This has a problem with telling and not showing. There is nothing wrong with telling in itself and in writing, there is usually a mix of the two to ease the reader in. However, this needs to show some more. (More on showing in this link.) Almost every single scene here was glossed over and barely touched upon with description or anything that could have made it feel real. Even though the servant had already referred to Sasha as a princess, she still had to tell the reader in her narrative instead of showing it to us through her actions.
That makes it feel cheap, almost. While it might have been a shot at attempted humor, it just felt like it was talking down to the reader. Being condescending, or even coming off as condescending accidentally, is a great way estrange the readers from the main character. It sets up a barrier and breaks all of the trust.
Speaking of the characters, the ones shown here don't feel as real as they should. It's mainly because of the dialogue, action tags, and choice words used for description. It looks like we're only getting monotone snippets, even though it seems like there is more to be intended behind that.
When Sasha announced she's going to take the Dragon Keeper test, how does she hold herself and how does her voice sound? Is she looking at her mother or is she already on her way out the door? When her mother says no, in what way does she say it? What emotion is behind her voice?
This may be a stylistic choice, but typically thoughts are in italics. So, it would look like: Oh God, I thought. The "to myself" isn't necessarily needed, since it's already implied.
That kinda takes the bite out of the test. If being a Dragon Keeper means putting your life on the line, wouldn't the tests put you under that type of pressure as well? I know that I would probably react differently if I was under the impression that my life was on the line. It would make sense if she had said that after the test, or if we had even seen that part at all to experience the absolute fear and adrenaline.
In order to connect with your characters, the reader needs to know what they're going through.
That makes this sound like a game show.
I really do like Rosalind and she seems like the more mother-type figure and I do hope that her character is expanded further than that. As I've stated here, this has potential, it just needs to be uncovered.
There are more things that I could talk about, but I'm stopping the review here. Anyway, I hope that you do keep on writing and have a happy holiday!
~Adrian
Don't worry Adrian, Rosalind will be playing a major part as we get more into the story. You made me laugh when you say that "That makes this sound like a game show." *laughs out loud*
Thanks for the review, and enjoy the rest of the story.
Hi dogsrule5 I love the store it is very catchy just like the search for the roupy of fire which Felistia rote so keep up the good work and let me no when you have rote chapter 3.
and I gave you a like.
Hola!
It's a great idea, and I hope to see more of it! Now, it's REVIEW TIME! 
You're title is what drew me in to this, and I'm glad I stopped by to read and review it!
You shouldn't start a sentence with and. I would write it like this - "Princess Sasha to be exact - and before you ask,".
To show that this is a thought, I would italicize the first part, then say "I thought".
Delete the third 'I'. Easily fixed.
I'm confused with this - why wouldn't she become Dragon Keeper? Was there some rule that says "killing is wrong," or at least "frowned upon?" If so, tell us! I, as long with other readers, I'm sure, would love to know!
Wasn't the lion already looking at her in the first sentence? Don't worry though - I do the same exact thing when I right. "He looked, she looked, it looked, he was already looking, etc."
Again, with italicizing. ORRRR, if you don't want to italicize, you could reword it to "I thought it was pretty pointless...".
I wouldn't abbreviate "omg". It kind of comes across as you are texting someone. Just write the whole thing out, or don't include it in the sentence.
Since the mother changes moods, I would have her do something. Examples: "Mother said. It took her moment to fully understand what I had just told her." OR "Mother said. Suddenly, she jerked up from the book she was reading to give me an inquiring glance."
Other "Things":
You have a small issue with telling instead of showing. Here's an example:
See what I mean? Try describing everything. Let me hear her running up the stairs. Let me see the jeans from the childhood. If you have any questions about description, feel free to PM me!
Other than that, I think this is great! The novel idea seems really cool, and I see a bright future for it! (Not literally, but you get what I mean
~Snazzy
Stay awesome!
Thanks Snazzy. I really enjoy hearing from you, and I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for the tips.
Hi dogsrule5, Felistia here with a review on the first chapter in your novel.
Firstly I have to say that this about the perfect size for a first chapter.
Story: The story is interesting and entertaining. The set up of the main plot so far isn't original, but really I don't care if it is a plot that's been used a hundred times. To me it is what you do with the plot. You can make it your own as you go.
Characters: There is a bit of a problem here. The dialogue is okay, but your not putting enough emotion into it, so I am reading that the character is sad or happy, but I am not feeling it. I don't really know how to fix it though since I have the exact same problem in my story.
Setting: Sadly you fall a bit flat here. You haven't described the characters or the world they live in. There are lots of places between the dialogue that you could place small bits of description. Think about things like what is the day like, are the streets clean, are the building tall and dark or are the grey and light? It takes a bit of practise, but you'll get good at it.
Problems: You grammar and punctuation is all well done except for two little problems I have. You say the word OMG a lot in here, you could try coming up with some different ones like suffering serpents or a better ones suffering thunder bolts. It might add some more emotion. The last thing is this, you spelled T-shirt wrong at the end.
Over all I like the story and will carry on reading. It just need a little work, but what writing doesn't. Never stop writing and I hope to hear from you soon. Have a great day\night.
Thanks so much. I'm glad you liked it!