What if my reflection is the real person, and I am just the backwards image they see when they look in the mirror?
I can so easily shatter into shards spread over the floor in a spiderweb them. They can see me, but I can see them much clearer.
My actions are theirs, because I’m just a reaction, flowing behind the glass. I’m a living memory, hiding in the now.
I’m still living, but half of a life, just as fractured as a mirror’s image. They see me as themselves, and I do too, somehow.
Every daydream, every nightmare, every small love has not been my own, but her’s-- my counterpart on the other side.
I think I’m in control, but it’s really her, behind me in that looking glass to another world. I can just sit back and let her take over, let her decide.
Everything I’ve done, it was her, not me. She decided my fate, and I let her take the reins. She controlled me-- she was behind me.
And how she smiled so knowingly, back at me. Too knowingly, like she knew she was my spirit waiting to be free.
So now I sit at the mirror’s edge, trying to find out if I am real, but the only way is to go back to the mirror where she can live.
Can she control me, or have I just let her in? Is the just the certain part of me that my heart cannot forgive?
Maybe so.
I am more than her.
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139,456 Literary Works • 672,568 Reviews
Hey! Here to give this my best review in the little time I have left!
So, you have a few nitpicky things, like using "Their" for there, and you use double dashes which look a bit out of place. One dash usually is quite sufficient. The layout of the lines being really long is kind of a personal preference, but shorter lines sometimes flow better. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with it. I read it fine ,and since it's not rhyming it's not like I need to read it at a quicker pace, but depending on if other people bring the layout up, I'd consider revising it. But that's purely stylistic; it doesn't affect the quality of the work.
So like. You're 11. For real? Because I loved this. It was excellently written. Dives pretty deep pretty fast, but in a good way! The use of mirrors can be considered cliche, but I loved it! This sort of story isn't all that original, what with fighting inner demons as it is, but it still feels original. There aren't really any cliche lines or sayings that I picked up, and I liked how you gave both girls a personality. That "she smiles knowingly" line I especially enjoyed.
You have an interesting battle going on. I lvoe the ending. With the opposite sided lines. Like a mirror??? >.> maybe ... or am I just grasping at air? XD Either way, I don't have much more to say onthis. I thought it's great piece that deserves a like from me so there ya go *likes* Hope this was helpful and encouraging. KEEP WRITING! Please.
~Messy
Hi, thanks for the review! On my computer it normally corrects the double dashes together, but sometimes it doesn't work that way. Anyways, I'll fix it. Glad you liked the piece!
Heyaa, acm!!
This is Eros here to review this beautiful piece!!
So, let us begin with the title. The title of your work is very good, attractive, catchy, and captivating. All the above stated words are the characteristics of a good tite.
The next thing which comes is the presentation of the work.
One little suggestion over here. This is a poem, but it doesn't look like a poem. I would suggest you to write this amazing poem in short stanzas.
For example:
This can be written as:
What if my reflection is the real person,
and I am just the backwards image
they see when they look in the mirror?
I can so easily shatter into shards
spread over the floor in a spiderweb them.
They can see me, but I can see them much clearer.
Break this beautiful poem in short flowing stanzas.
The next thing which comes is the choice of set of the words. I really really appreciate your choice of set of the words. They are unique and very suitable to the poem.
Then, the nxt part of my review is the main theme and the main idea which forms the basis of the poem. I liked the main ide of this poem. It is a truth which you have expressed sooo sweetly!
Now, the things which I liked the most about your poem:
1) I liked the theme of the poem. It was unique.
2) I liked the meaning of your poem.
Rest it was a SUPERB work!! Think once on my suggestion.
I would now like to end up my review with these following lines:
Keep writing, my friend!!
Never cease...
Because we all love to keep reading such AWESOME works, like this one!!
Have a great day/evening!!
Thank you for the review! I'll fix that.
WelC! I mean, welcome!!
WelC! I mean, welcome!!