I am my master’s old dog
my clothes worn,
my sides thin
my bowl forever empty
a scrap of food has never been.
I am my master’s shoes
where he walks
and struts over my dreams
my soles dirty and failing
younger than they seem.
I am my lady’s hair tie
almost broken
but not quite
keeping the strands in
not perfect, not quite right.
I am the creaking chair
in the wooden shed
where the broken go to die
almost forgotten
just a mere, weary sigh.
I am my master’s book
upon a dusted shelf
with a title unread
with its message
left unsaid.
I am the doormat to the house
stepped on
and passed over by the door
with a welcome faded off
hardly visible anymore
When I die,
I will die a slave girl
a slave girl forever
my burdens
released never
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139,456 Literary Works • 672,568 Reviews
This poem is really heart breaking and pretty understandable because in the way you show us the girl's feelings, we can actually feel like her and understand her thoughts and feelings.
This work is really sad and beautiful and I think you had done a very good job writing it.
I will be honest that this review may not be as helpful as I want it to be. Only one spanza was my problem where the rhyme was off for me. Everything else was perfect. I like the way you had described her as a different object in each spanza comparing her to the object and showing us what it is like to be that object for someone else and not having the chance to do anything for yourself because someone else owns you, and this is for your entire life.
Good job and keep on writing!
This poem... I'm in awe. Usually I don't take to poems that have this format, but I found that I quite liked this one. There was a lot of emotion, and I loved the metaphors. The subtle rhyming was just fantastic. I don't really see any problems with this one. Amazing job!
Whoops sorry I don't know why it posted that twice.
Thank you for the review!
This poem... I'm in awe. Usually I don't take to poems that have this format, but I found that I quite liked this one. There was a lot of emotion, and I loved the metaphors. The subtle rhyming was just fantastic. I don't really see any problems with this one. Amazing job!
Hi, Ruby here for a review of this AMAZING poem!
I really thought the structure of this poem was very interesting. Metaphors, when done right, can convey such a strong message- and you definitely achieved that. Using a different one in each stanza got across not just one larger idea but many, and I think the metaphors used in this poem are lovely. The imagery incorporated into them fit really well with the whole mood of the piece as well. My favorite stanza's are the 3rd and the 5th, honestly they sent a chill down my spine. They seemed as if they could be words straight out of an actual slave girl's mouth. The lines
"with a title unread
with its message
left unsaid"
was a great comparison that could be applied to any general slave girl, as I'm sure you intended. The overall message of the poem that I got was that this could be applied to the oppressions and struggles that honestly any young slave went through and the worthlessness that the youth may have felt.
Overall, I have no criticisms and thought this was one of the best poems I've read here so far- great job!
Hi acm, Felistia here with a short review on your poem.
I really like how you put a lot of emotion into this poem. I love the way you describe the girls life and how you describe her like an old object. My favourite is the rhyming scheme you chose. It helps the poem flow an is not forced at all, it actually isn't noticeably until the second read. Well done, I can't find any problems in the spelling or grammar and there isn't anything that I would change in this poem. Well done and I look forward to more of your work. I hope you have a great day\night.
P.S I love your avatar.