If my life were a novel
would I be a good protagonist?
Would I be good enough
to beat the antagonist?
If my life were a movie,
would I be the star?
Or would my friends outshine me
better actors by far?
If my life were a poem,
would it rhyme with each line?
Would it flow well enough
and stay right in time?
If my life were a painting,
how would I be portrayed?
With my dull brown eyes,
and my ratty, tangled braid?
If my life were a letter,
to whom would it be?
Would I even share it
or just keep it for me?
I can wonder all I like,
about what I could turn my life into,
it's a way to vent my emotions,
when I don't know what else to do.
But listen to my advice:
you're the writer of your own book,
the world's an interesting place,
if you'd come and take a look.
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I like the whole idea of your poem. But the last stanza didn't seem to fit in. Maybe you could make it like your talking to yourself just like what you did in the former stanzas. You suddenly talk to other people that they're the writer of their own book. I guess that's it. But all in all, I like your poem!
Thanks for the advice. I'll try that.
Hi ACM! I really love the idea of the poem. I like the idea of wondering if you are enough and wondering if you are interesting. I love the first five stanzas and the wondering tone.
The last two stanzas however kind of fell flat with me. I felt like that the last stanza was very stereotypical. I also think that the last two lines of the sixth stanza were kind of unnecessary. As readers we understand that you are venting your emotions and wondering what to do with your life and so this just kind of lets the poem end anti-climatically.
Anyway I loved the poem and can't wait to read more from you!
Keep Writing!
-Brunette
Thanks for the comment! I'll work on that.
Hi ACM! I really love the idea of the poem. I like the idea of wondering if you are enough and wondering if you are interesting. I love the first five stanzas and the wondering tone.
The last two stanzas however kind of fell flat with me. I felt like that the last stanza was very stereotypical. I also think that the last two lines of the sixth stanza were kind of unnecessary. As readers we understand that you are venting your emotions and wondering what to do with your life and so this just kind of lets the poem end anti-climatically.
Anyway I loved the poem and can't wait to read more from you!
Keep Writing!
-Brunette
Very good poem.keep Writing...
Thank you!
Hi, there! Rain here for a quick review. I don't have much to say here, but here we goo~
One little nitpick I found:
*were (you're using "were" as your verb in all the other lines, so just change this to keep the consistency).
This was a really interesting poem, and for the majority of it I was just thinking: this poem is basically just your regular, day-by-day shower thoughts. Then, I reached the end and discovered the meaning behind the poem, which I'm glad you included!
Your rhyming was awesome and the flow was pretty spot on; no stumbling or cringe-worthy slip-ups.
I want to give you a bit more of constructive advice but I'm afraid I don't have any. The idea itself wasn't extraordinary original - this plot has definitely been used as a poem before. Other than that, keep up your great work!~
~ EternalRain
Thank you for the review! I'll fix that.
Ok, this is really interesting. It's really simple, yet impressive. I like the flow of this, and the rhymes are great. I don't think this has any mistakes, though I recommend you to make it rhyme like this: A B A B instead of B and B, to make it flow even smoother. That's really all I can say, due to the fact that this was very simple. This was quite a perfect poem, maybe you should do some other types of poems, like a haiku or something like that.
Thanks for the review! I'll try that.
I love this poem! Seriously, how you compare your life to different scenarios, is very interesting. The flow and rhyme is consistent and enjoyable to read throughout. I particularly liked how you ended the poem with "you're the writer of your own book". I don't really have any nit-picks or suggestions. Overall: Great job. I'll be sure to read some more of your works!
Thank you for the great review!