Left with my anxiety
cut off from society
None standing by my side
never had, never tried
Given to loneliness
sold away to stress
Hurt and scared
almost repaired
Pushed far away
a little further every day
Pinned into a shell
in darkness I dwell
Shattered memories
blooded, scraped knees
A slow beating heart
slowly torn apart
Terrified to sleep
too pitiful to weep
Deep scars on my arms
remnants of my harms
Thoughts of the end
trying hard to mend
A love that has been broken
you leave me like this
your heart unspoken
falling to the dark abyss
You know I am broken
almost falling apart
but you still have it in you
to destroy my heart.
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139,456 Literary Works • 672,568 Reviews
This is a review.
First of all I must say I personally like the way you break the rhythm by going with the 4 line stanza and the rhyming change in the end. It brings emphasis in a creative way.
Secondly I think it is really beautiful to be able to express deep feelings this way. You should definitely keep on converting negative vibrations in artistic writing. I suppose that if you wrote this based on a personal experience, you didn't write this to be read by others. That, I think, makes it very honest. If you stay writing, keep doing it without an audience in your mind that would hold you back. Best regards
This is a review.
First of all I must say I personally like the way you break the rhythm by going with the 4 line stanza and the rhyming change in the end. It brings emphasis in a creative way.
Secondly I think it is really beautiful to be able to express deep feelings this way. You should definitely keep on converting negative vibrations in artistic writing. I suppose that if you wrote this based on a personal experience, you didn't write this to be read by others. That, I think, makes it very honest. If you stay writing, keep doing it without an audience in your mind that would hold you back. Best regards
Hello acm!!
This is Eros here to write a review on your beautiful poem!!
Hey there! I would first like to appreciate your art of using rhyming words. They don't seem to be put by pulling and pushing the sentences. I like the natural seeming beauty of the rhyming words which you have inculcated.
Next is, I like the theme of this poem. It is based on a life of person with a broken heart... the condition of the heart which is been hurt... the pathetic status of the heart... the heart that loved someone so much.
I like your choice of words and the in-depth meaning. You are successful in adding a sadful touch to the poem. It is full of emotions and expressions. Like as if the poem itself is trying to speak everything. I liked it very much.
Continue writing, acm!
We all love to read your stuff.
I feel that this is a poem people can easily relate to. The rhyming is very well done (sometimes people just use words that rhyme but don't really work with the poem) and was a nice touch to it. I like the ending a lot too. One thing I would say is that I think it should stick to the 2 line stanzas the whole way through instead of going to 4 at end. But, even though I'm saying that, by writing a poem you have the freedom to do what you choose and I like it either way.