Young Writers Society

RoyalHighness here for a quick review!
This was cute and fun and light! But before I spout praise, let's get to the nitty gritty.
It was perfect until I hit

With her children away, at school learning.

This sounds a little awkward. I think it might be missing a syllable.

Putting away each plate, fork, soup, and cup.

And here is the opposite; I think there's one too many syllables here. Also, who puts away a soup?

"Oh, thank you, mother! The shoe looks so nice!

You need a quotation mark at the end there. Tiny typo, no worries.

The old lady smiled, as she gave her advice:

I'd take out the comma there, just cause it's unnecessary. But if you'd like to keep that pause there, that's up to you.

"When you have this many children, you know what to do:

This line doesn't need to start with a quotation mark. It's one of those weird rules wherein if you have long dialogue from a character followed by more long dialogue by the same character, you don't have to begin the second long bit with quotation marks. You do, however, still have to end it with quotation marks. Quotation marks are weird.

Other than those minor technicalities, I thought this was wittily and brilliantly written. You kept to the rhyme scheme expertly, without losing any details or over-explaining. Well done!