You had my life plotted
on a sheet of graph paper,
bottled in a beaker,
released in hot vapor.
You had my lifeline calculated
and printed on a crisp sheet,
locked away in a filing cabinet
to keep your desk nice and neat
You had my height and weight
downloaded as a 3D model.
as uncomplicated and plain
as the water in your plastic bottle
But let me tell you this:
I am not the equals of your equation.
I’m not your added sum
to be loved on occasion
Don’t make me your thesis statement,
don’t let me orbit around your life,
I am not your specimen to study--
Just an echo of your wife
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139,456 Literary Works • 672,568 Reviews
Hi there!
Great poem, it's a really interesting concept and drew me in from when I began reading it. The flow of your poem is coherent and your wording is really effective to convey frustration. I can see the woman's pain and hurt over being left behind for a career and be wanting to be molded into something she is not.
I really enjoyed your poem however I did feel you could be more descriptive at times rather than just telling me thing. Or to tone down the harshness slightly as it disturbs the flow in the final stanza from the first sentence. This however could of been your point but I just find it a bit distracting.
Great work and I hope to see more.
Oh damn, that ending!
Hi, Maddie here with a poetry review!
First and foremost, I must say this is a very interesting metaphor. What I'm getting from this narration is that this woman is being made, or is being attempted to be made, into a copy of this man's wife. I'm just gonna assume the wife is dead or left him, so he still loves her and doesn't want to give up on her. So, meeting the narrator, he's trying to make her into his wife by doing "experiments" like change her lifestyle, maybe have her make physical changes, etc.
Well done.
Everything else is good! I really liked this piece!
I hope you continue writing
Good luck!
~Maddie