My bucket list:
Before I will die,
this is what I'll have done,
this is what I'll try,
this is how I'll have fun.
1. I will jump from the sky,
(with a parachute of course!)
2. I will get out there and ride,
the Grand Canyon on a horse.
3. I'll travel to France,
in an old fashioned train,
4. I'll learn how to dance,
and sing in the rain.
5. I'll carve my name out,
next to someone's on a tree,
6. I'll run and I'll shout,
across the Alpines so free!
7. I'll learn to speak Chinese,
and stay in Asia for awhile,
8. I'll fly a kite in the breeze,
teach the world how to smile.
9. I'll get a new pet snake,
keep it large and well fed,
10. I'll skate across a frozen lake,
tumble down a hill on a sled.
I'll die a happy person,
when all of this is done
because to carry life's burden,
you need to have some fun!
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138,958 Literary Works • 672,365 Reviews
I really liked this poem and enjoyed reading it.It is really emotional and full of inspiration.Makes me want to stand up and do something.I think everyone needs to have one of these lists and write down the things they have always wanted to do before their last days come.Very good flow and smoothness.
The last para where the reader understand you will die as a happy person and you will know it all worth it,maybe this is my favourite part.I have nothing else to say (nothing bad about this work).I like the way you had listed them like in a real list on a paper which you keep in your notebook.I like the way they are so simple but still things that are remarkable and things that you will remember.
Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!
Hi!
I really enjoyed your poem, I think it has a great message. It's true! Sometimes you do have to have some fun!
I love how you were super imaginative the entire poem, also the flow of the poem was great in my opinion, except there were some lines worded oddly such as: "across the Alpines so free!" just like EternalRain had said earlier down below.
I think this poem will also be an inspiration to people that just do nothing all day! To be honest, I don't do many activities every day, so thank you for being an inspiration to me!
This was a very great poem to be honest! Keep up the great work!
-Alex
Thanks for the review! I'll work on that verse.
This is sweet!
Thanks!
Hey! Cello here!
It was really nice to read this little burt of positivity. I have to question you're beat and flow though. It felt... choppy.
A few minor edits could do the trick though.
'I'll explore the Grand Canyon
on the back of a horse'
See? The first line originally had 'fluff' (Unneeded content that was there purely to be there) Cut out fluff and balance the 'actual content' between the two lines.
Two things- the first stanza here is off on the beat and the second stanza is a bit unclear. Maybe adjust the first one to something like 'I'll carve my name next to, my lover's on a tree' (That was a bit on clear, sorry, bad example) The only problem I have with the second stanza is 'alpines free', it' not quite proper. Maybe 'Alpines, so free'?
I would take out the and on the second line.
Other than that, great poem.
Keep up the good work!
-ChocolateCello
Thanks for the review! I meant to have the poems lines all rhyme, but I'll use most of those suggestions.
Hi acm!
I love this poem. It kind of reminds me of those short meaningful poems I used to read when I was smaller, the ones which are meant to teach you something and I think your point gets across really well without seeming overly serious or overbearing - you did a great job.
I love your rhyme scheme, again it makes it seem less serious and it joins the verses together so that the poem has a great flow and the words seem to blend together seamlessly.
I also like the imagery you used, "frozen lakes" and "sing in the rain" - they are all slightly wild, imaginative and crazy things that make the poem feel lively and connote having fun - which is great because that was your point.
Anyway, great poem!
Tick tock
Thank you for the review! I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Hello there! I've always been intrigued by the idea of bucket lists, which is what made me attracted to your poem. You do a wonderful job of keeping the whole poem upbeat and the rhyming is just perfect!
There were a few places where the wording was a tiny bit off, but there's really nothing to nitpick at here. Perhaps with another quick proofread this poem will be as smooth as a baby's bottom! You did a great job!
I loved when you talked about dancing and singing in the rain, as well as carving your name next to someone's in a tree.
Great poem, and keep up the good work!
Happy writing,
Kali Lennon
Thanks for the review!
Wow! This was absolutely inspirational. From the title, I just thought it'd be some list of random things you want to do in the future, but I really love the way you took this.
The rhyming was stunning - you have amazing talent for a nice rhyme scheme without making it sound forced. The rhymes didn't make it silly, either, which was something I was extremely happy to read.
This one was just so pretty and beautifully and uh! It's so simple yet it holds such a meaning.
I loved how you had an introduction stanza and a concluding stanza, instead of just jumping right into the poem. The pacing was excellent and it all worked out beautifully.
I really don't have any complaints! A few of the lines were worded awkwardly, such as:
But I'm sure with a bit of word tweaking and adjusting you can fix that!
Other than that, though, I just had to review this because I loved it so much <3. Keep up the fabulous work! ^-^
~ EternalRain
Thank you for the review! I'll fix those.
You're welcome!