Silent

You are just too amazing for me to give a proper review. No fair, I want points!

So you are the last person i'm reviewing tonight
Getting kind of sleepy here
But your poem was good
It kept me in suspense the whole time
My short story is similar to this
Its not the same i promise!
But it was really good
And it also was very powerful
I didnt see any errors so
Good Job!!!!!!!!!

Myers is here to for reviewing your poem ,
The title is very good ,it kept me in suspence about the person being depicted but i don't know why but When i was reading it ,a word came to my mind " Cold Soul" ... yeah i thought it to be the title of such poem.But your title is also good.
The First and the last stanza is really amazing specially this line :
" She ghosted through the halls leaving breezes in her wake".
Then the last line touched my heart:
" She screamed untill she could no more,
but didn't make a sound" ,
Sad end to a very Beautiful poem.

Hey Fortis! I don't think I've ever reviewed something by you, or have I?

The first thing that jumps out is the third stanza - did you mean it to be exactly like that or have you missed words? Especially on the third line - what does "solid mass" refer to?

This is an interesting piece. It seems to capture just a few moments without really writing them off, like inhaling sharply but never letting the air out. I'm not really sure what creates that impression, so it's very intriguing!

I think the most interesting bit is the first stanza. I really like the image of "padded feet", and the use of "ghosted" is quite unique, although I'm not sure whether I like it or not. Certainly makes me stop and think, at least!

I was thinking of the word "friends" and whether it would make a big difference if you used some other word there. I have a feeling this is totally out of place in a poem review, but friends would smile back and react to her waving, would they? Would the effect be stronger if a complete stranger didn't even blink when she made a move in front of their face? I'm not sure.

All in all, I thought the first stanza was the strongest! It's fascinating that the poem leaves me feeling unfinished and lacking in something, maybe a bit like a ghost in this poem would do. How did you do that?


Demeter x

Messenger here to review for you on Review Day!

So I have to say that I think you captured being a ghost perfectly. I don't know if that is who the girl is, but it would make sense. I like all of your descriptiveness. But I feel like there was no explanation for a back-story or any ending. It felt like it ended in the middle of the story. Now of course you don't need to tell the whole story. Books and poems always have plenty left out, but I think you left out too much. Perhaps wrap it up a little more fully. Maybe make an extra stanza or two to make to tell who this person is?

a solid mass, but not so she
her hand just passed straight through.

away from all their stares,.

She lived a silent life,
and walked on padded feet.
She ghosted through the halls
leaving breezes in her wake.

i liked your word choice in this i think parts of this were interesting kinda balancing the whole thing out in general. i like the title because it made me curious about what was to happen and who was particularly silent.

just a couple questions. so i think you were telling this in the point of a ghost girl right? and i'm guessing she died at quite a young age? honestly at the last line in the first sentence i had to read over a couple times to realize what you meant lol but that's fine because it's OK to leave a tiny bit of confusion within it, i have done that as well.

The title fits in well with this poem which is always good. my favorite part of this poem is the first stanza. i have no idea why so don't ask me i just do lol good job getting and keeping me interested as well as writing it