Sitting outside a coffee shop,
pondering the philosophies of napkins
(like their tendency to float away unnoticed),
I start to wonder how I
never even thought
that you'd leave. But now,
every year, autumn
reminds me. Birch splinters are
still stuck in my nails.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,110 Literary Works • 673,017 Reviews
huh, I really don't get it .3.
Hi there fortis! Nite here to leave a brief review.
Anyhoo, keep writing! 
Overall, I love this. Definitely didn't notice that it was an acrostic until I read the comments. Just a couple things.
1) "philosophies" doesn't seem like the right word in the second line and it's clunky. I think something like "habits" would make more sense.
2) The part between "I start to wonder" and "to remind me" could flow more smoothly. A suggestion:
I wonder how I
never thought
that one day you'd leave.
Every year, autumn
reminds me.
Just a thought, but I think this would be smoother.
This is lovely as always, though I wonder if I wasn't the only one who thought this had something to do with Birkhoff from the title.
It does have to do with birkhoff...
Though I'm not sure how.
And the philosophy part is a nod to one of my favorite books, The Order of Odd-Fish.
I do like how you fixed that "remind" part though. It did seem clunky.
Thanks for your review!
I saw the title 'Birk' and thought this was How to Train your Dragon fan fic. XD Nice poem, by the way!
Me too! XD
XD
I liked this
. I do recommend that every thought was finished in a line. Or that a one thought end and the beginning of another thought in one line.
Example:
"I start to wonder
how I never even thought
that one day you'd be gone,
even with the yearly autumn to remind me.
Birch splinters
are still stuck in my nails."
but enjambment is very important in poetry!
And also this is an acrostic. ^_^
I absolutely loved this. don't ask me why. i just did.
you know how rare it is to find a poet in here that DOESN"T RHYME?! you did it perfectly. And it gave me a kind of absent-minded, fleeting loneliness... thank you. i felt it.
There are actually plenty of poets that don't rhyme here ^^
fort Is the beastest beast of poetry,