Across the Horizon

i doubt its bad, but i cant read it .-.

I definitely love it! The wording is incredible and perfectly poetic! I really like the whole theme of the poem. The cloud effect is definitely creative and thought provoking, although it made it difficult to read. The last stanza was my favorite. It sort of reminded of a poem I recently wrote. Keep up the good work!

You are a poetic genius!

This is so freaking beautiful. That last stanza. <3

Fortis, I had a very hard time reading this, you have some awesome ideas. I know this won't tun into a proper review but I'm going to call it that anyway. This was a very, very, very wonderful poem, and watching the clouds go by, passing across the words kind of frustrated me. It felt like you were giving the message that we should read this quick because there isn't enough time, because like you said the clouds go by too fast. (Great joke by the way.) Now, the poem has a nice, thoughtful flow to it, you're really making the reader look closely and think about it, that's great. You also rally made me want to read the poem even more by making it impossible to read without the clouds, so I really think you did everything write. How do you keep doing stuff like this? It seems really hard. With all your effort you're already an amazing writer, so keep it up.

Ooooh my gosh, Fort! This is ridiculously cool!

There are two motifs here. First one is that about a white winter light, the harsh glare of the sun, the inside of eyelids being bright (a shocking contrast to what we normally experience) The first idea is also formatted in the way the poem is written in white textface, and indeed when there are no clouds, we can't read anything clearly. This is something of an oxymoron which is what fascinates and intrigues me the most about this piece. We expect for the light and the sun to clarify, to show, to reveal, to illuminate, except that it doesn't. And the tone of the piece when speaking of the light -- the way it's abnormal and a bit unsettling to see brightness inside of eyelids, the way glares are described as "harsh", as "winter", as alien (as opposed to the dark, described as familiar, the longing of not being able to see them anymore).

The second motif here is the darkness as a home, the shadows dripping down walls, the dark infinity (that I let enfold me) which is described as welcoming, as home: "I've gotten used to it". The image of the fish becoming more transparent in the dark is an interesting one, does the narrator become more transparent in the dark? In a sense, the words and feelings certainly communicate clearly in the shadow of the clouds -- the words themselves are literally transparent.

It is an interesting dichotomy. The puzzle pieces are there arranged for the reader to fit to his/her bidding, and then there are the clouds. The clouds are up for interpretation! The speaker contemplates after the clouds, where are they going, should I follow, etc. The clouds are the only thing moving, the words/the speaker seems to be stagnant, and the clouds seem to be expressed as that intermediary between the light and the shadows, in fact, the clouds take the harshness of the light and create the shadows, which in the poem seem to create that clarity for the speaker. I like that a lot. I like the idea of a speaker searching for shadows and contemplating where the heck that shadow-creator is bounding off to. I like the implication of wishing to become a shadow-creator, and the way shadows seem to represent a sense of home, ideas and thought.

Beautiful, Fort <3

- Auds