Death has never held much influence over me,
And time seems to pass by in a blur.
Yet as I slow down, contemplate each day,
Secrets of the world are written in the moments.
Sometimes everything seems to hold still,
Even when the minutes are rushing on,
Even when the years are flying by.
My ears drown out the ticking of the clocks.
Today the earth moved on without me,
On to greater things than dust.
Paradise is when moments align with awareness.
Awareness is the keystone to our moments.
Sometimes a moment comes without our awareness,
Sometimes we don’t remember the most precious moments.
Big moments
You can’t always recall.
Underneath the smoke of time that veils our memories,
Never-remembered sweet moments lie.
Never-remembered happiness waits to spring to life.
Open your mind to the moment and live it.
Time won’t wait around for you to realize it’s passing.
I know my time will come, and I’m marking the days.
Can you say the same?
Elderly, will you come realize that you missed your chance to live the moments.
Death has never held much influence on me.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,038 Literary Works • 672,926 Reviews
Amazing poem!!! You wrote with so much feeling, it was beautiful
most of the lines were pretty much perfect, but there was one :"On to greater things than dust," that I felt didn't really make sense. Where did the dust part come from?? Anyway, overall, amazing poem. I'm not a hige fan of acrostics, but you really did a great job making this stand out 
Hi, fort!
I don't know if you made a typo in this line, but it was very difficult for me to understand.So I really liked the title and the acrostic part of this. When I saw acrostic in the title, though, I was like, "No!" because acrostics, in my mind, have a rather poor reputation.
But really, I loved it-- It was really well executed.
I do have a few suggestions to make, however.
While I can see why you used some repetition, I'm not a big fan of having so many lines that start with the same letter also start with the same word. When I was in grade school, and we had to do acrostics, the teacher made us start the line with a new word each time, and I think that's a pretty good rule of thumb to keep it fresh. Just a thought.
Also, I feel like you need a bit more imagery in this poem. It was very caught up in the abstract, which what the poem was about, but I wanted something more to anchor me to the emotions in the poem, rather than wander, lost, in the maze of your mind.
The poem around "BY" seemed a little off. I don't like the use of the word big, but you work with what you have in an acrostic.
I love the line, That's lovely.
Altogether, this is fab. You execute the acrostic form very well, and might have even changed my mind about it a little. I hope that this review proves useful to you! Have fun poeting, and Happy fahrvergnügen!
Hello Fortis (I don't honestly care if you don't capitalize your name, I'll do it anyway!)
This... was a very interesting work. I found that I really liked the style and themes of the poem, in that they remind me, of all things, of a Blue Oyster Cult song. I really don't know where I get the connection from, it just kinda came to me. I also enjoyed the overall flow and tone to the poem. It's not a sappy, overly dramatic mope, nor a hate-filled rant. It's just... mellow, which I really like.
By far my favorite passage was this:
"Paradise is when moments align with awareness.
Awareness is the keystone to our moments.
Sometimes a moment comes without our awareness,
Sometimes we don’t remember the most precious moments."
That's some really deep stuff you have there. It's quite philosophical, thought-provoking, and interesting. This is just an overall great poem. I really didn't see any spelling/grammatical mistakes, nor anything that took away from the poem in any way. So, in conclusion, I thought the poem was well written, well thought-out, and awesomely philosophical.
~Cirute
Beautiful! I thought I was a good writer but I'm starting to think I'm a bit out of my league. You created a very vivid mental picture. Your wording was very well written. Reading was my pleasure and I look forward to reading more of your work.