The frost has made a forest on the glass,
a wondrous world of spark’ling crystals flash.
The branches pierce a velvet night so cold,
their razor edges softened by the snow.
I weave a way between the frosty trees,
so microscopic is my chosen street.
I hardly find a foothold on that ice,
but I enjoy a slip from time to time.
This poem was inspired by the frost on my window that looked like a forest.
That is an actual picture of said frost.
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139,345 Literary Works • 672,539 Reviews
Hey Fortis! I have a review for you!
As you might know, I'm Strange and i'm strange
I really like the imagery of this poem and how you got the idea. Who ever knew inspiration can come out of something like that?
Few nitpicks. Spark'ling does seem right, if you use accent, but I thought Sparkling would be better. I got lost the first read, but a couple more reads did just fine
Written well and flows well
Overall, good job
Strange gives you...
7.8/10
Great job
Keep writing
Stay groovy, my friend *Hair flips*
Paint the roses red, my dear
Lol, this is awesome. Not only the picture, but your poem as well. You've done a great job here of really bringing the picture to life.
.) In any case, after all the fun and games is over, this is actually quite a nice piece of work. You have some good descriptions such as,
"A picture is worth a thousand words." They say. In this case, 62 words is worth a picture. (Yes, I counted them
"I weave a way between the frosty trees,
so microscopic is my chosen street."
That really classify your subject matter, and bring it to life with enough depth to make it realistic and believable, but there's still that little bit of shrouded mystery which helps it to maintain the surreal effect that is so prevalent here.
Quite good in my opinion.
Thank you fortis!
Thank you for your review and your compliments!
I love this poem. I especially love how you included the picture. In a way, you have your poem set up so it flows freely, but yet still has structure. Your grammar and flow was impeccable, and when the vowels rhyme it's called "Assonance".
I think my favorite line was this:
You have a really beautiful poem here, I LOVE LOVE LOVE it! Definitely keep writing, and I'm sorry my review is so short, This is just completely perfect.
Right off the bat, I thought this was awesome. It was very descriptive and worded very well. You're obviously very skilled. The beginning caught my attention right away. The ending was also amazing. My favorite line would have to be "The branches pierce a velvet night so cold." The use of the word "microscopic" kind of threw me off. I think that you should change that word. It doesn't really fit. My only other complaint would be that there's not more for me to read! But short and sweet is still good.
Keep on writing!
Dragonrider