Birdbath Wishes

Timmy here for a review on review day!

I admit, when I first looked at this, I was like, Wha? What is going on here? Why does the poem look SO weird! What strange formatting! Then, as I read it, I began to notice the curve and everything. How brilliant! A bird bath is your poem's shape! How cool is that!

So as to the content of you poem, I was pretty amazed too. I loved it... It almost seems like you are telling me that when you become an adult, you kind of loose the care for the little things. When you are young, you overlook the fact that its hideous and smelly. You just enjoy seeing the birds playing in the water and having fun!

I will hit a few nitpicks now, if I can find them!

I am sorry, but honestly I couldn't find anything. Nothing. At. All!!! This was so beautiful! I did notice that when I tried to copy something, it didn't work! lol Is it a photo or something?

So beautiful poem and I am looking forward to another from you! I hope that I always fill the birdbath. Always.
~Timmyjake

A beutiful poem.
Both mentally and visually, you had me entranced.
The structure and grammar of this piece are perfect, and I have absolutely no suggestions of how you could in prove it. In my eyes, this piece is perfect. So I can only point out th parts I especially loved. They are as follows:
"crystal-shining water," paints a delicate, beautiful image in my head.
"In dandelion puffs" this is such a sweet, gentle line that these three words round it off perfectly.
You create a great sense of the past fading away, and what was once beautiful is now hideous. This is a gorgeous, sensitive poem and the way you finish it- with a tone of sadness but a glimmer of hope that there'll be a chance to make that one last wish- is stunning. Fantastic job

I love poems where it's shaped as an important symbol from the poem! I really enjoyed this, mostly because this happens to everyone. There is always something that as a kid you love, but as you grow up, you begin to abandon it, but can never bring yourself to throw it out because of all the happy memories. You showed that so well! This has great imagery, with the little details really described: 'crystal-shining water' and 'dandelion puffs.' I also liked how a small thing, the cardinals, were emphasized so much. I thought it was cool that you used cardinals to signify her wishes, rather than the normal 'wish things,' like stars or anything that is seemingly more magical. I do think some of your word choice could be better, like making 'hideous something more poetic, and changing 'smelly' and 'ugly' to better sounding words.
I loved it! Good job.

This is one of those awesome shapey poem thingys, cause it looks like a birdbath and it's about a birdbath and AWESOME! A little more review like, I think this poem's greatest strength is it's timelessness. (Is that a word?) I think however you should change the line "When she was grown" to "Now she is grown. " and appropriately change the tense from that point on. I think it would add to the first half's memory-like feeling. Just an idea.
Take That You Fiend!