How do you know when your spirits are too low?
A candle about to go out, like a fading memory.
Is it alright to be at such dismal heights?
A trench underwater, yet you’re lower.
You’re hiding from all their eyes,
just in case someone might try to
smile.
And it’s hard to grasp that life might always be this way,
feeling under by a
mile.
despite all this wracking inner wrath,
you can still climb this rocky path.
But if you hold onto the notion
that you’re falling into an ocean
of sadness, and desperate misery,
you’ll never be free,
you’ll slip on the climb.
Hold on to your last shard of hope,
because it’s hope that’ll get you where you
need to go.
There’s only air around you, I’ll be there to catch you, if you begin
to fall
Come up from that endless pit, and scale that rocky wall.
Don’t hide from all their smiles.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,110 Literary Works • 673,017 Reviews
im getting to think all your poems are genius
Great job
beautiful, inspirational, and relatable. fantabulous job!
Hey Fortis, great poem. There's just one typo I see, the second to last line. "Come up from that from that endless pit, and scale the rocky wall." That is the only typo and here's my nitpick. "you're hiding from all their eyes," the "y" should be upper-cased. Other than that the poems great and as uplifting as it was meant to be.
This was beautiful. I really can't describe how lovely it was to read something uplifting about depression, rather than a poem about how "sorrowful I feel." The lines "A trench underwater, yet you're lower" and "Feeling under by a mile" are a bit hard to grasp. I would suggest something a little easier to understand, only because I had to read both the lines twice, and it disrupted the beautiful flow. I also would have liked to see a little bit of play with the structure of the poem, but I really shouldn't be complaining.
I completely agree with WindSailor, you are a genius.
You're a poetic genius.