??? (Spring)
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
137,518 Literary Works • 672,040 Reviews
I read each haiku without the spoilers first... feeling a little awkward. The haiku's were great that way, but it meant something totally different when I went back and opened the spoilers that came with them. I love the idea that they were all seasons as well...
beautifully written
I really enjoyed this! The one on the rose had great imagery! Bravo!
Karzkin, I see some Haiku.
It really is true though, they're always better in Japanese. Too much meaning is lost in both utterance and phrasing, so much that ideas and images are almost shadows of what they could be otherwise.
Interesting idea with pictures accompanying, but I want you to show me that without showing me them, nice try overall though. Glad to see you producing.
My nitpick with all poetry, Haiku included, is the usage of participles and articles; especially difficult to control within the parameters of Haiku, but don't you think you could wittle down phrasing just a little bit so the spoken effort of the Haiku compliments the imagery placed inside?
Nonetheless, Haiku is a place for everyone to begin; they just may not follow the rules and expectations you have. : P
First off were the pictures yours? Because they were each very unique, well, Other than the red lips. Those are over used.
ANYWAY. On to the Haiku. They were awesome. You were very poetic, and your words were elegant. I'm not used to Haikus so I don't know a lot of them, but to me yours are really good.
This one was my favorite of all of them. It just gives me a clear picture of the "rose".
This one was the only one that wasn't that great. Its not bad, but it doesn't seem to have as much substance as the others. In all your others you played around with the words and they sounded great. This one is just strait to the point. Makes it less interesting.
If you have any questions PM me!
-Boo
Thank-you, Karzkin, for letting me know about your Haiku series. I really enjoyed it!
At first, I read each in turn, and, feeling a little bemused, opened the spoilers. A whole new layer of meaning poured out! Each Haiku is so rich with symbolism, but I don't really want to tell you my interpretations in case I make a fool of myself!
I have no idea how to critique a Haiku, and, since you are the expert, nitpicks ( if I had any, which I don't) would probably be incorrect and purposeless. I love these four poems just the way they are.
The second picture ties nicely with the second Haiku. The woman is like the rose, beautiful yet dangerous. Was that the impression you were going for?
I'm not too sure how the first fits exactly, or the third or fourth. Help please! Either PM me or, well, do what you like, really!
I did enjoy reading this series and I hope to read more soon!
書き込みを続行 ( lol, I'm so grateful for copy and paste haha)
~ Alia