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139,389 Literary Works • 672,542 Reviews
mother of god. one of the best damn things i've ever read on this site! i love your metaphors and poetic stature, you're writing style is clearly influenced and matches the techniques of edgar allen poe and his eerie tales. I'm not sure where to begin! I think i'll start at line one and continue my array of compliments from there haha.
Can i just say that metaphor made me read it over about 8 times before I finally digested it? Impeccable. If you ever publish a poetry book some day, I'm buying. This was beautiful.
Wow. I read this, re-read it and then just kind of looked at it for a bit. I'm in shock, I think. I can't believe you fit so much talent into such a small place. I mean; I don't do poetry much. I'm more a novel girl, but gosh, I think I can recognize talent. And this goes beyond.
You're like a modern Shakespeare or something. Every word you chose is perfect and the last stanza is incredible.
I seriously can't get over that one. Amazing, dammit.
The language is emotive and you take advantage of the use of imagery. I loved that. I love how you wrote about death and pain but the poem itself didn't give off a hard vibe. It's almost as if you have a euphemistic undertone. I stopped reading, feeling breathless, rather than depressed.
I don't know how you pulled it off, but seriously. It's incredible.
If I was immature enough to use the word, supercalifragelisticexpealidocious then I would use it just to push my intention of how much I adored it.
What the heck.
It was supercalifragelisticexpealidocious.
NightWriter x
I know very little of poetry but the first thing I notice is a very weak rhyme scheme. It's almost a mixture of Chaucer and Shakespeare. In my opinion for the style Chaucer would have been more fitting, but I'm old school to say the least. The imagery though was rather tasteful but it felt somewhat lacking as though you wanted to develop it into a story I saw the narrator's pain but no true resolution. I'm an actor so I guess resolution is significant to me without it necessarily being required. I also question what it seems to be a comment on it almost seems a socially commentary against violence or perhaps the destruction of fantasy and nature. It almost feels as though the second stanza could have been an opening to another poem. Regardless the ending is rather well placed and goes great with the first stanza. All of that said it's a great poem and I wouldn't change a thing.
holy crap bro. this is like something edgar allen poe would write. I really like the name. I take japanese and I felt so cool that i knew what that kanji meant and it's very aptly named. the imagery in this gives you just such an image of pain and death but also guilt and almost a victory of sorts? idk but it's awesome. keep it up.