We Are the Fallen Angels

Hello there, @FallenAngel97! Though it is extremely unlikely that you will ever see this, here is a review from Squire Vilnius!

So, my first impression of this work of yours is that this must be some kind of vengeful and/or lamenting cry of anger, hate, and mourning.

No obvious grammatical errors! Yay!

I really like how there are a variety of emotions that I felt as I read this poem-- envy, hared, fear, love, longing, and several others. This variety really adds to your work and improves it as a whole.

There's nothing here that'd I really had an issue with, so there is no obvious plac where improvement is needed here.

Have a nice [*insert time of day here*], and have a happy #RevMo !!!

Hey Fallen! Dogs here with your review today! Thanks for the review on my last poem so I though I'd repay the favor . Ok so this is a great poem, you have a very nice rhyming scheme that is consistant and spaced out enough that it doesn't become childish and adds to the flow. I love the idea of it and you choose your words very well, although there are just a few tiny nit picks I'd like to point out.

Firstly I'll start with the grammar, I didn't find any spelling errors so props to you there although in the first three stanza's I noticed that you didn't use any grammar and than throught the rest of the poem you use grammar, personally unless you meant to do that on purpose I think you should do all grammar or no grammar. For me when it comes to writing I perfer using grammar in poetry because it makes it easier for the reader to read and it helps the flow.

Ok next onto the content, this is a great idea and I love it, I actually think you should make this more into a metaphor of a historical event to really make this stronger, add layers to this great writing. Try adding it to some revolution, yes the fallen angels have broken the law but the law was not just and now the angels are being punished. Just throwing around ideas.

Now if you are trying to get the readers simpathy for these fallen angels try to talk about how the law that they have broken was not just or not fair or opressive. Also define the fallen angels or at least have a definition for them that you know about, it would make this piece much more powerful if the angels represented a group of people or a person.

One more thing, I think you use a lot of simple and overused words in this poem. I read so many of these every day is so many different poetry and short stories that it gets boring. Try mixing it up, throw some other powerful words in there. Stronger vocabulary strengthens the rhythm and the feel of the poem if the word is right. There is more to just the meaning of the word, with the write sound of a word just listening to the sound of the words you can get a feel for the poem and what it is about. I challenge you to aim for and work on in a future piece. If you are having troubles doing this try looking up some of these words in a thesarusus. I do it all the time with my writing it really helps.

Well thats all i really have to say, all and all this is a really great poem and I enjoyed reading it Give me a PM if you want anything else. Keep up the good work!