Too Many of Us

I like it. It is very short. You over used the word that a lot. Your sentences are very long the 1st is 22 characters that targeted range is 11-18 and the 2nd is 17 which is very close to the point in which it is too long. You have sticky words your glue index for this is about 40.0 percent and this has 58.3 percent. Very good capitalization consistency. Your spelling consistency is good too. Feel and anything are very vague words so try to stay away from them all together. other than that it is a great poem all around.

Nice, poem, though the whole idea of perfection not truly existing has become cliche in poetry. Saying you "know" in line 6 is a little forceful, though we understand the poem is based on opinion (based on "feel" in line 4), as perfection is relative, as are faults and flaws and imperfections. The title of the poem is particularly interesting, as you say "Us" instead of "You", putting yourself (the persona) in the same category as everyone else who want to claim this title of perfection. There's hardly any nitpicking to do here, but I wouldn't attempt that though, as any imperfections in the poem might be there to reflect the while point of it- that would be brilliant.
The words "feel" and "know" being close to each other really adds some tension to the poem, and leaves us to wonder of the persona's credibility and certainty. This isn't bad, rather it is interesting. Good work here. Look forward to seeing and reviewing more of your imperfect poetry
Happy writing.
Adam-Clay.

THIS. THIS IS THE REASON I AM A PART OF THIS COMMUNIUTY. GEMS LIKE THIS.
But in all seriousness that was genuinely beautiful, and something that so many people can relate to. Relatability is something that can make something successful, particularly in literature, because it makes people feel better when they realize they aren't the only ones feeling such strange things. It makes them feel less alone. And you, my friend, made me feel less alone.
Keep writing.
XOXO

*a white wolf appears with a jay feather tucked behind her ear* Greetings I have come to review your poem. So first off, I agree with your poe and that perfection dose not exist and it is not something you should spend your days trying to succeed. I like your idea on the labels because I find that in us teens we go label crazy where ever we go and don't even know were labeling until we hear our self doing it out loud. Now as for the poem being to short, I'm in a cross road with that mate on one hand it is really short and I feel that to express your point further and harder you'll need to add on to your poem express more on your views on the topic of perfection. But as it is you state your thoughts and do it brilliantly.
Now I'm going to quote some from below.

"Monsters says...

So right now you have the message you want to get across to me, and what type of tools do you use to persuade me? Do you inspire me to look deeper into the subject? Give me a critical piece of incite? Give me an example? Give me an image making it so real that it devalues my perception? Make it emotional? The answer is no. Always without a doubt you used no tool here that makes this assumption believable.

So here-- you lost credibility or trustworthiness because your supporting a claim with nothing. You are dictating the facts that the reader should believe and its terrible simply because your reader is rebellious. They don't want to believe things you tell them to believe, they want incite, emotion ect.

--Now I might not be getting to the reason or the point of where this comes together so I'll try to now--

You said a fact in the poem that the reader can or cannot believe and you failed to pull them in any direction so for one you are loosing your message. For two, the reader is likely going to read through it without being able to effectively critically analyze it because the facts are thrown around so in the end their impression is most likely "it is an okay poem, didn't make me think, but had an okay punch to it at the end"

" ladcat13 says.... I certainly agree with you, or at least with the message you're trying to convey. I only have one tiny little nitpick for your poem, (other than the fact that it's very short.) That nitpick is that the last four lines feel like they should be reduced to three. Lines four and five would fit together, and the last line could stay the same. The short length of lines four and five makes the poem more halting. If you combined the two it would read easier. Just a suggestion, of course; this is poetry, there's no exact science. Everything is author's choice.

Nice job, and keep writing!"

That's pretty much all I have to say
Keep writing
~fallen

I love this poem, because it has a meaning to all of us teenagers is telling us that no one is perfect because us teenagers try to be perfect and be like others. The person who wrote this poem is saying that she feels like she is the only one who knows that perfect does not exist and she isn't trying to be like everyone else. She feels that everyone is trying to be like everyone else putting a label on everyone else. It shouldn't be like that because everyone should try to be comfortable just the way they are.

I don't really agree with the idea of this poem. I am a perfectionist but I know that I am no where even close to perfect. It's a personality trait of mine to make sure I do things to the best of my ability but being perfect is nowhere near a reality. I happen to realize that if you asked many different people with different cultures and values whether they think they are a perfect, I almost undoubtedly believe that most would say "no."

--now getting to my point--

So right now you have the message you want to get across to me, and what type of tools do you use to persuade me? Do you inspire me to look deeper into the subject? Give me a critical piece of incite? Give me an example? Give me an image making it so real that it devalues my perception? Make it emotional? The answer is no. Always without a doubt you used no tool here that makes this assumption believable.

So here-- you lost credibility or trustworthiness because your supporting a claim with nothing. You are dictating the facts that the reader should believe and its terrible simply because your reader is rebellious. They don't want to believe things you tell them to believe, they want incite, emotion ect.

--Now I might not be getting to the reason or the point of where this comes together so I'll try to now--

You said a fact in the poem that the reader can or cannot believe and you failed to pull them in any direction so for one you are loosing your message. For two, the reader is likely going to read through it without being able to effectively critically analyze it because the facts are thrown around so in the end their impression is most likely "it is an okay poem, didn't make me think, but had an okay punch to it at the end"

But to me this is garbage. Everything in it is abstraction, you start a sentence with an and which is bad practice and there's not much even here to begin with. Sorry if that's a little too harsh, just trying to help.

BOOM *appears in a dramatic smoke bomb* I am here... to review.

I certainly agree with you, or at least with the message you're trying to convey. I only have one tiny little nitpick for your poem, (other than the fact that it's very short.) That nitpick is that the last four lines feel like they should be reduced to three. Lines four and five would fit together, and the last line could stay the same. The short length of lines four and five makes the poem more halting. If you combined the two it would read easier. Just a suggestion, of course; this is poetry, there's no exact science. Everything is author's choice.

Nice job, and keep writing!

Hey Retro here to do a little review

The thing about this poem is that it is a little too punchy. If you're going to do a shorter poem sometimes the point needs to be driven home harder, which is a shame because i think you're point is excellent and right. But, I just feel as though you've had a bit of a rant. That said, i think with a tiny bit of work this would be absolutely fantastic. I love the idea, I love the theme, but it just falls flat on getting it across. What might be nice here is some comparisons. You say that you're the only one who knows that it doesn't exist right? So show us it.

'those girls with high buns, struggling to walk in six inch heels// Trying to learn the moves from Beyoncé's new video.// they don't seem to understand, or even think it through// they strive for perfection// when it is impossible. '

That was literally top of my head so it is isn't particually good, but you get the point. Maybe try and work in more actual poetic imagery for the nature of the poem. That being said i think it does make an excellent point and is not a half bad attempt.

Keep writing!
~Retro