Cut your Cake

Timmy here for a quick review!!

So first I will just mention that you turned the most common idea ever written and changed it into your own amazing idea... Knives cutting skin... The most common idea ever, but not this poem! This is an amazing poem, just morphing the idea into the opposite of what most people do.

Nitpicks

was just seven words. ---Bolded word should be were

When I went into this poem I didn't really know what it was about. Which sparked my interest. 'Cut your Cake', hmm? Could that be about food? Giving up food? After some though about this title (and my hunger growing) I clicked on this poem.

I couldn't help but feel a little disappointed. I felt like this should have been longer. Normally I love short poems but this just didn't have enough depth for me to really enjoy it. It was a good poem there just seem to be something missing from it.

This subject matter has been done many times before that it has almost become a cliché in my eyes.

I did like the humour element of this poem:

Blades

are for cutting cake

not skin.

Hey,

I really like your poem! It's fantastic. Pompadour is absolutely right. It's short, but it gets your attention right away, with only a few words.

but I figured all I had to say

was just seven words.

Blades

are for cutting cake

not skin.

Okay?
>> I like how you said ' blades are for cake '. True. But what if they consider themselves as something that can vanish as fast as a slice of cake? Like, I think of being used; just there to be there, you know? Not really having any point, other than to be cut down.

But great job altogether on this poem!
Keep writing!


_Britt_

This is absolutely brilliant! It's short and to the point, and yet it has this ... depth. You're really good at simplistic poetry, and the message you managed to convey from behind the fibre-glass, brutal truth was just amazing.

It's something quite different from everything about self-harm I've ever read, and yet you talk about the topic in this quirky -- yet completely serious -- manner that just has to leave an effect on the reader! I like how you say "Okay?" at the end of the poem. It has this vexation behind it, this tiredness of the way the world is out to kill itself. Very, very nice.

This isn't much of a review, seeing as I can't really find anything to critique. *peers closely at poem* Hm, I think there should be a comma between "cutting cake" and "skin" though. The lack of a comma there made reading the sentence a bit awkward for me.

That's all I have to say. I think.

Keep up the wondertastic work! Keep writing!

Cheers,

~Pompadour

xD okay, Mam!

P.S. This was amazing.

That was deep. And immensely profound. Nice job!

HellO!

This is the most insightful thing I've read all the time I've been on YWS about NOT committing some act of self harm.

You've got it exactly here: Blades are for cutting cake not skin.

The use of the rhetorical question at the end is perfect, because it addresses the reader directly. And i HOPE IT will really make people think.

Great job.

Kudos.

Keep writing

~BSF

A poem in a poem! (Somebody needs to write a poem about this!)
On the poemlet.
This was such an amazing contrast, and the equivalent of smacking somebody round the face to bring them to reality. Such a message is purely common sense. Another good thing about this is the originality of this despite the slightly worn out subject.
The outside poem.
Again mimicking the demi-poem with it's bluntness, but seems less sympathetic towards the cutter, almost like telling him off.
And my single recommendation; Change blades to knives.
Hope this helps,
Take That You Fiend!

Hey there ConverseFireGirl!
I found this to be an interesting poem, I kind of like how you went all simple and to the point with this one instead of using a whole ton of imagery and such. Either poems are both great but this one is more unique and I love the message behind it.
I'm impressed about how you start off the first five lines basically saying that "Plainly..." in a way like someone is talking. Then you proceed to using those seven words which sums up the whole poem in an unique way! I think the first half of the poem really adds to the effect of it!
If I had one thing to improve it would be this: I don't think the "Okay?" at the end is really nessercary as I think the previous three lines sum it up and end it very well already. "Okay?" Seems kind of unnatural to me but it is your opinion!
Overall, very nice poem! *Drops like*

Hi There.. I don't really know what to review on since the only thing I had has been pointed out already... So except that, overall your poem is nice. What I like about it is that it's simple and direct, no beating around the bush. You wanted to say something, so you said it. GOOD!
If you need me to review anything else, let me know!
Harshita

Hey Tiny here!

I thought this was a sweet kind of silly look on cutting and it made me a bit happy. First time a person who read a poem about depression had felt happy afterwards huh?

Blades

are for cutting cake

not skin.

Sorry, this isn't much of a review, but I just want to say that I loved this XD. It made me laugh at the end, while at the same time conveying a powerful meaning. Nice job!