Dear Diary,
I apologise
for not writing last night.
My tears were the only words
I had to offer.
Each one was a single letter
spelling out my past, present, future.
And the page is wrinkled
with her misery and tears
of the days
sure to come.
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139,359 Literary Works • 672,540 Reviews
Hi, Weather here with a review. New member so inform me if my review is making sense or nonsense.
Well I found this poem to be beautiful in terms or flow, rhythm and overall concept. It had a great voice and had emotion to go with every line I can't find much fault with it.
"My tears were the only words
I had to offer.
Each one was a single letter
spelling out my past, present, future."
I certainly liked this section as it held a lot of pain that can't be described by words, and considering a diary is what usually helps people express themselves, not even being able to write in it due to the feelings taking over, is truly great.
I also liked the reference to the "past, present and future"
It showed that perhaps in the night that nothing could be written in the diary, reminiscent memories came back that could have aroused these emotions.
"And the page is wrinkled
with her misery and tears
of the days
sure to come."
In a sense this part felt lyrical, which is good. However I felt this section was slightly disconnected in comparison with the rest, perhaps its due to the change in persons tenses. Not a major issue though.
Hope i made more sense than nonsense. Well done!
--weather
This review made perfect sense, it was really constructive, thanks! And I can totally see your points and really appreciate your feedback! I'm looking forward to seeing some of your works!
Hey ConverseFireGirl! Strange here, and I have a review for you. This might be short because I'm balancing this and watching Seven Samurai, which is in Japanese and is three and a half hour movie.
I do like how this is subtly short. It is sweet and simple, though the message isn't sweet. You put out a message in a lack of words, and that's always good. You didn't drag it on like some poets do. I love your poems and hope to see more from you. One problem I did have with it, though I might be wrong, is apologize not apologise.
Overall, great job
Strange gives you..
8.9/10
Good job
Keep writing
Stay groovy
Hey there, Strange! Thank you for the review, I'm glad you liked it
This was very beautiful.
It is rare that I find a poem that has the simple and sweet grace, which is not difficult to create, coupled with a deep message presented in a whimsical, but very real manner.
I really like these lines, as they are cryptic in their feel, but are not overbearing on my thoughts and emotions. I get the message, and it touches me, but you haven't 'tried to hard' here, so I'm not suddenly annoyed with an attempt to force something upon me through the poem.
The flow is very elegant. Your choice of words, while meager, is not uninteresting and fits the theme quite well. Very good work.
Thank you ConverseFireGirl!
Thank you so much! I really appreciate that feedback