Scars are sexy,
mental illnesses are for the weak.
Makeup is the only way girls can look pretty,
boys must be ripped with muscles.
Sex is a meaningless act,
self harm is beautiful.
Alcohol and drugs is the only happiness,
and cigarette smoke is the new oxygen.
Or maybe,
we disagree.
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140,755 Literary Works • 673,687 Reviews
This is a very smart poem. Detailed, yet subtle on the point. Great way to leave it up to interpretation for the reader. I agree with A786, the line "boys must be ripped with muscles." doesn't fit, but definitely contributes to the point of the poem. I see no real need for any criticism. The message is clear and to the point, the execution is simple yet fluid, all together it's great. Keep up with the good work Converse!
-Raz
I like how you ended this. Although the line about boys having ripped muscles sounds off. It adds to the overall picture.
On a light note people who think scars are sexy would be mentally challenged. The world is becoming such a place though, when you look at the big picture it is quite sad and depressing. You have portrayed it with blunt honesty, sounds almost like a universal truth.
Suggestions? The only ones that catch my eye is the line about makeup and boys; try to structure them so they flow with the rest of the poem.
I very much liked this poem because it showed the reality of our society. I thought this was a very powerful poem that holds a lot of meaning. It is a poem that has the power to make a person think about the world we live in and the stereotypes we have created. I really like how you state some of the biggest problems with society. This was an amazing poem good work.
Thank you! I was actually thinking of having the word "society" in the title, btu decided against it. Thank you so much though!
Wow.
Talk about speaking the truth of depressing life.
I found this to be really good.
I love how it's all in the center of the page. Also, I like how you didn't make it look like one big brick like I tend to do. It's very appealing to the reader.
I love the fact that you're trying to make controversy with your opinions versus others, and then at the end you say "Or maybe, we disagree." Yes! I love it! One of the greatest endings I've seen in a while!
I also like how you flipped every ones version of normal into an alternate one, or maybe you're own. I found it to be pretty cool.
Grammar wise, I see nothing wrong.
Personally, I love this. I thought you did an amazing job. I love the idea of rebellion against the normal.
Keep it up. Can't wait to see more.
Thank you so much, I am glad that you liked it
you are too kind ^_^