Young Writers Society

Hello there Niraco here to review this fine day. Firstly I would like to apologize for any mistakes as I am on a mobile and the keyboard is rather tiny.
Anyway, I have a conflicting view of December from your poem. Not that your poem is wrong in fact I feel as if that is what you're trying to do.
When reading this I sense a happy and weirdly warm feeling. However, real December tends to be rather cold with short days. I understand this isn't really describing December itself but just a thought I had when reading.
Moving on, I love the strong use of colour throughout this poem. At times it was rather simple but that I think helped this poem even more.

Acrylic black trees

with brushes of fire,
a cloud of purple
smudged above
like freshly blended pastels

The imagery...! It burns! D: Nah, just kidding! I loved it!

Gummy's the name, reviewing's my game! Today I'm reviewing December Skied by ConverseFireGirl! Hi again! I'll just speed-review this since I see nothing to nitpick on this time around.

Now! Like I've stated multiple times already, I love the imagery, I love the color symbolism, I love the whole watercolor and paint metaphors... Yeah, anything remotely similar to these is on my Plus list for this piece!

One thing I'm curious about regards your choosing to color the trees black. Are they charred or something? :O Or did the red flames burn them up to a crisp!? I'm dying to know!

That's it for this speed-review! As always, take care, and I expect to read even more from you in the near future! Keep writing, and remember, the key is to keep practicing!

Hey,figured is about time I reviewed one of your works. The effective use of short sentences really brings out a nice, flowing rhythm to the poem besides empathizing each scenery and thus making it more real. Your vocabulary is also well done, painting a very elegant, fiery and also realistic picture with words. Which is exactly what each writer should aim to do.

The use of stroked , acrylic and stenciled makes me feel as if it really is a painting and to end the poem with a single word is a very clever way to wrap it up.

It linger. Is short and it stays.

Nice one.

Oh wow!! I'm breath taken!! This is truly deserving of its spot in the literary spotlight! Well done!!

As a fellow artist, I believe you've managed paint a really beautiful word picture of a sunset, here! Excellent imagery.

I love the words you used to help readers invision a painting of a sunset, instead of just a sunset. (e.g. "brushes," "watercolor," "acrylic," "stenciled.")

Just one thing:
"December skies
are stroked red with
brushes of fire,"
I don't think the second line here should end on "with." Perhaps put it in the beginning of the third line?

Also, there was a spelling error in "stenciled." There is only supposed to be one L.

Good job!

Hey Tiny here!

Okay I have indentented my favorite parts of the poem for you, only because I loved it so much.

December skies

are stroked red with

---brushes of fire,

a cloud of purple

smudged above

like freshly blended pastels.---

Beyond is baby blue,

watercolour swiped across

crisp paper.

---black trees

stenciled on

to make the sky

complete.---
I loved the fantastic imagery and it gave me a completely new outlook on December.

Keep writing

Okay Miss ConverseFireGirl.
I must scold you. TSK TSK!!!
You spend so much time telling everybody how amazing their work is and God knows you've commented on my wall enough times telling me how amazing I am.
WHY DON'T YOU SPEND MORE TIME ACTUALLY WRITING POETRY????
Seriously, I loved this piece! It's gorgeous, and it's absolutely wonderful with all the imagery you use.

I love how you referenced art. I'm an artist so I completely fell in love with this. I don't think you need to change anything. Someone commented below about how it's not smart to end a line in a preposition. I understand where that person was coming from but in this instance, I ave to disagree. The only nitpick I have is when you do this;

December skies

are stroked red with

brushes of fire,

Hello, ConverseFireGirl! Indie here to review.

Something technical:

are stroked red with

smudged above

watercolour swiped across

stenciled on

What kind of december are you getting because mine is just white. And cold. And sad. and awful.

wanna trade decembers??

(by the way the writing is beautiful!)

Review time:
Everyone that has reviewed has described this as a painting. what is this painting? December Skies, just like the title suggests. I think you did a very good job describing the sky in an artistic perspective; you used artistic clauses like brush strokes, acrylic painting, pastels, crisp paper...and so on.
Over all, as an artist, I was able to relate to it and I don't exactly envision the sky like that, especially on Decembers, well maybe, that's because we are at different ends of the earth.
Keep Writing, XOXO
Bunie

hello , im here to review ..

so your poem is wonderful from all sides , first the description ( Acrylic black trees ,a cloud of purple ... ) it was like you put a painting in front of you and start describe it ,and second the title , i think that it's the most amazing thing about this poem , because its very full and Comprehensive. and finally the conclusion ....

Acrylic black trees
stenciled on
to make the sky
complete.

so keep writing , can't wait to read more of your poems

This is a fantastic poem!
I absolutely love the imagery and I'm so looking forward to your other work.
It was great!
It is a privilege to be sat 6 feet away from you.

Dear, ConverseFireGirl

I will start off by saying that this is a fine, nice little poem.

Coming from an artist's perspective, you perfectly captured the feeling it is like to be wanting to draw/colour. I also love haow this feels like something that can easily pictured in the reader's head, with lines like;

"December skies

are stroked red with

brushes of fire"

and;

"Acrylic black trees

stencilled on

to make the sky

complete."

It really does give you the vivid feeling that someone is describing a painting to you and it works really well and to great effect.

If I had to choose one problem I have with it, I think I would have liked for it to go on a bit longer, I would've liked more of this painting and also, as others have pointed out, the poem could be better structured with the usage of some stanzas. Overall though, I'd say keep on writing, as it's still pretty good.

8/10

Hi CoverseFireGirl! Was this a poem, or a painting? I loved it! You did an excellent job, portraying the image, and a very vibrant image it was! Reading your poem over and over again, I enjoyed it even more every time, the portrayed image is truly the definition of beauty! As Clarity said, the only thing I saw wrong with the poems was the formatting, the lack of stanzas. Keep on writing! c:

Oh dear, another YWS format fail? No need to worry, it doesn't take long to fix!

I like the poem. It's simple, but the imagery is pretty. I assume this is set in three stanzas considering where you placed the capital letters.

December skies
are stroked red with
brushes of fire,
a cloud of purple
smudged above
like freshly blended pastels.

Beyond is baby blue,
watercolour swiped across
crisp paper.

Acrylic black trees
stencilled on
to make the sky
complete.