The salty air licks my skin,
as a smile creeps on my lips.
A laugh escapes my soul,
as I run, the wet sand
in between my toes.
* * *
I remember the curling,
dancing ocean along the tide.
The feeling of the cold water
tickling me up to my knees.
I remember the lightness in my step
and innocent joy in my heart.
* * *
The feeling of looking behind me,
to see my grandfather reading,
with his feet in the sand.
And my grandmother,
laughing with my sisters.
* * *
I remember running along the beach,
with my dog and my kite.
The wind and the ocean twirling,
Dancing, tickling...
* * *
"I want to go back."
I say to myself as I run my fingers along the photos.
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139,784 Literary Works • 672,766 Reviews
I love the nostalgic feel of this poem. Looking back and remembering can be both pleasant and painful all at the same time. It's funny though how in the moment, we just enjoy it, but later, we wish we could live in that moment forever.
I really don't have much in terms of critique, just a few things that I feel might make it flow better.
Mainly, it's just this stanza that trips me up. The comma after "skin" took me by surprise, and I had to re-read it to make sense of it. I feel like taking it out wouldn't take away from the pause, since you go down to the next line.
The second sentence confuses me a bit honestly. I think it'd be best split into two. "A laugh escapes my soul. As I run, [I feel] the we sand in between my toes." I also think the "I feel" ties it together better.
And oop! I'd just add a period after "back!" ^u^
I hope this makes sense and helps some~
Thanks for this review
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This feels kind of tragic, but that's definitely a good thing. I like the poem because I feel like pretty much anyone can relate to it. Memories beckon to all of us in one way or another, it's part of our inner nostalgia.
I have only one question. Do these photos exist? If so, that would be very interesting to see. But maybe the best part about the poem you've written is that the photos don't even need to exist. It's not hard to imagine them while reading.
Good job!
Thank you!