Bottled Up Emotions

Hey, Berry here!

Awesome poem! It's really deep and beautiful and I think everyone can relate to having bottled up emotions. So great job! I'm sorry that I don't have much to edit, but I guess that's a good thing!

One of the little things that I would fix is the
"Of you, not understanding."

I don't think there has to be a comma there and it is a bit of an awkward pause, but I could be wrong.

The only other thing is

"So just like before...
I'll pull out a bottle...
Why bother a human,
When you can fill out a bottle?"

I really like this line, and I like how you repeat B words (I wasn't sure how to explain this) The only thing is that since you use the word bottle twice it ends a bit awkwardly in my opinion. Perhaps choose another similar word? But of course the poem still rocks!

I hope you don't feel ugh anymore and that I can read more of your work!

Great job (like all ways) and I like it. The reson is because i can relate. Im sorta a loner i mean look at my page. But anyway lets see if theres any issues....... Nope. I cant really find too much. The endings nice and how my emotions end so this piece even though its rushed in like a few minutes. Well that ends my response. Lone Wolf walking out. : )

I really like it, it is very good and you
use beautiful words

It is written in a unique form
What I love about your work.

I like to read more from your poems

so I think I stay tuned

And not all poems rhyme, but that's
what I like about it...everyone
has his own imagenation, that we
must use.

My compliments for your lovely poem.

Keep writing more .... love , Werver.

Hi MadWriter, Felistia here with a review for you on this wonderful day.

Theme: I can see that this is a little rushed compered to your last poems, but I still think it is pretty good. I like the whole bottled emotion theme you have going through the poem, it feels much like my life, so I had a really easy time connecting to it.

Description: You don't have a lot of description in here and I kind of wish that there was more. The poem doesn't really need description, but I feel that it would be more interesting if you added a few colours. Just a friendly suggestion.

Grammar and Punctuation: As for grammar and punctuation, once again you have no problems.

Small suggestions: Other that adding a bit of description, I have no suggestion to making the poem better.

Overall another great poem and I look forward to what you bring out next. Never stop writing and I hope you have a great day\night.

Your friend Felistia.

This is a vent piece yes, but it is a very relatable piece. With a view revisions, it could be perfect. I just enjoy this piece because it's emotionally raw. That's truly the best to just let some steam out too. The last stanza concludes intriguingly, almost like it was unexpected?
All in all, I think you should mess around with this piece and see what blooms

Your friend,

cheaper

That was a really unique ending!! It's pretty good considering you wrote it a few minutes!! I'm sure that it will get better once you have a chance to edit it!

Just a little tip, if you focus on word choice when you edit, it will be a lot more emotion filled!

Really good for a first draft!!!

Excellent! You really did a great job! I don't even understand why you described your poem as crappy..

Anyhow, I like how you wrote yourself into the poem. It is so endearing and engaging. And yes, you managed to vent your pent-up emotions in a poetic masterpiece

Though the first stanza is distracting in a way, the next two stanzas clarify it and even intensify the emotional atmosphere of the poem overall. What I liked most about your poem is how it reached its climax (or hyperbole or whatever) in the last stanza, and in the last two lines in particular.

I ADMIRE the imagery in the second stanza. The rainy-cloud metaphor is the best description of what you feel (or let me say, felt. I guess you feel better right now after writing the poem ). Your mind is clouded, and your soul is as disturbed as the sky on a rainy day. Thumbs up (Y)

One more thing, I think you should have worked more on the rhyme scheme. But never mind, we're not living in the Shakespearean era after all, Miss Juliet

I give your poem a 9.5/10. Keep writing and make sure to share all your poems with us!

Hello there, Madwriter!

You shouldn't have apologized earlier, for this a very deep and touching poem. And of course I can relate to the narrator!

But moving on to what you did well, when I finished reading this poem, I didn't feel like I wasted my time at all! That is something extremly hard to achieve. Next up, I like how the poem is short and straightforward. You could've rattled on and on about feelings and limitations, but you didn't, and that made the differnce. Last but not least, I believe you could improve the word choice, maybe add a few uncommon words here and there to just make it more interesting.

Yours truly,

Erika Hale

Hello there, Madwriter!

You shouldn't have apologized earlier, for this a very deep and touching poem. And of course I can relate to the narrator!

But moving on to what you did well, when I finished reading this poem, I didn't feel like I wasted my time at all! That is something extremly hard to achieve. Next up, I like how the poem is short and straightforward. You could've rattled on and on about feelings and limitations, but you didn't, and that made the differnce. Last but not least, I believe you could improve the word choice, maybe add a few uncommon words here and there to just make it more interesting.

Yours truly,

Erika Hale

Hi Mad! Holographic Ladybug here for a review!

Um, no, that's not bad!! I think it's actually good. The last part is somewhat confusing, about putting out a bottle (do you mean like write a poem about your emotions?), but I like the first two stanzas. Even though I'm more of a complainer than a bottle-uper, I can understand what you're saying. I also really like the bottle picture.

I hope you feel better!