Young Writers Society

Hello there, Casanova!
Moonwatcher here with a review! ^-^

I agree that after reading a lyric sheet of "We Don't Talk Anymore" that this sounds eerily like that song. Some parts I even read with the same tune, and can barely distinguish the difference between the lyrics. I understand that inspiration in writing is a common thing, but it shouldn't be /this/ similar. You can try to write something about the same phrase, and heck, even use a phrase from the original work if you really like it, but try your best to be as original as possible. I see that you have said that nothing is original, which is true, but you should at least be able to distinguish two pieces of writing as a work of a specific author.

Also a little bit of a nitpick which isn't really important in terms of presentation because these are song lyrics; the punctuation is all over the place. Some places don't have it, others due, capitalization are at the beginning of some parts but not at others, etc etc. I suggest making your punctuation consistent.

The lyrics are unoriginal, not in the sense of what I mentioned before about this seeming like that other song, but in the sense that most of the lyrics are a bit done to death. Some transitions don't really fit in together very well, which could use some tweaking in terms of flow.

That's all I have to say about this poem. I hope my review helps you out, and have a great day! ^-^

Hey Matt.
So clearly this is based off of the song marmalade mentioned. And it's really awesome that you were inspired by it, but looking at the lyrics of the actual song, some parts are so incredibly similar that it could basically be the same thing.
For instance, the title. "We Don't Love Anymore," is literally in the first verse of the song by Charlie Puth.
And sure, it isn't necessarily a bad thing, and as you've told me before, "Technically nothing is original," but it's certainly based solely on the song which is making it hard for me to recognize this as your own lyrics.

SO THAT BEING SAID
The lyrics themselves are fairly choppy. And it could be that you wrote this as a rap and it fits together in some other way, but the lines just seem to clash, and it's just a constant ordeal of tripping over words and having to read it ten times over to understand.

As for the story, it's familiar for obvious reasons. And it's sad. Though it's somewhat vague, you still get emotion out of it, especially towards the middle.
SLAM that chorus hits you like a hammer at the end. Come on!! I was happy today, why'd you have to do that to me, eh?? It's just so dramatic, which I later realized was pretty damn cheesy, but man that gets emotional.

Other than what I already mentioned, just try and clear up the lines to help with the choppiness bit. Hopefully this wasn't too blunt, I still love you.

-Amelie

this song reminds me of "We Don't Talk Anymore" by Charlie Puth featuring Selena Gomez