Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language and mature content.
You coppin' shit if you thinkin' you gon' be poppin angels from Heaven
You'll be sproutin heathen demons who ain't breathin you thinkin' like that
Think your dicks big? Maybe with a microscope with two cougars a seein'
You're saying the same shit over and over- no complexity.
The same shit a million rappers are sayin- where's the diversity?
Always talkin' 'bout which girls you can lay- not able to think of a wack verse to lay.
I'm not sayin' you have to be wack to be a rapper- but your lyrics are shit man.
Here- thiink about this.
You wanna try and make it a game that has twists and turns then you better step up YOUR game
and come up with something more stable and relateable before these other rappers bend you over a table and fuck your ass while they're able
Your potentials in a horse cage- a tight stable. Unleash your passion man- a true artist's label.
I'm tired of hearin' about you fuckin' my girls- I had her first bro- I've done wrecked that world.
Yeah you got her, bitch so what? That's as far your luckiness goes.
Can't do nothin' with her- you're a sterile bull in a herd of cattle
Lyin' on the fuckin' grown shakin' your raddle
You're up shit's creek without a paddle
Come into my field- you better not tattle
I'll bring the real shit down, flip the world upside down and I ain't fuckin' around.
Come back when you have some decent disses for me to listen to
Oh, and while you're at it, go ahead and try to fuck my boo
She's too good for you bro, you wouldn't know a good one if she slapped ya
Then again, you like that kind of kink- maybe I'll pay a two bit whore like your girl to hand-cuff ya
It's the only way anything you ever will say will be in one place-
Even then the verses you lay aren't even at the same fuckin' pace.
I'm tired of hearin about it.
You ain't wack- you're a Jay Z rip off along with Eazy e
You're soft- goin' after what you want instead of what's real.
Mother fucker quit playin'- I wanna know what you feel.
Not about the sluts on your dick, or the hood you in or the chicks you with.
Not about your bank account , your drinking amount or the grams or pounds.
Come up with something real or you can sit in the back like Macklemore
Here- if you ain't gonna leave on your own, I'll kick your ass out the door.
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140,210 Literary Works • 673,042 Reviews
I really like this. It was quite funny to read. There was a spelling mistake or two but they're not that noticeable. Overall, I think it's really funny and that you should write more.
holy crap this was a blast from the past o.o
Mostly reviewing this as a courtesy flush for the Green Room.
In the span of four stanzas we have
1. A jab at the size of a man's genitals
2. A joke about anal rape
3. Kink shaming
4. Slut shaming
It's a real piece of work, Casa. I hate it. I absolutely hate it. All of the instances I've cited above are completely unnecessary and tasteless, and without punchlines--so forgive me if I fail to see the joke. Now, another piece I recently reviewed in a similar satirical rap vein? That had punchlines. That had reason behind its cruelty. This is just cruel and crude. But that's not to say it's without merit. It's a joke piece. Try the joke again. Make me laugh. Some studying material for lyrical humor:
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/C ... .BoBurnham
Now that we've talked about this, disregard my notes about making me laugh. Still, the obscenities are ~unnecessary. Bo Burnham is still a god tho.
Hiii Matt!
Wow. This is a whole lotta crazy going on in one song sooo I'm gonna help out where I can-- If I can.
Firstly, the story conveyed through the lyrics. It seems kinda resentful, prideful, and foolish. Like two people who managed to turn bragging into a fight.
The lyrics are ridiculous and all over the place. And what I get out of this is sex and pride. Nice. I don't like the lyrics but it just isn't my music taste, so that's of no consequence.
I feel like this is a very forced rhyme with the previous line. Because honestly, what's there to tattle on you for? Thus far I've seen nothing that "you" have done wrong, and this other guy you're talking about seems to be the one to blame. I guess could be just from this perspective though.
Your boo? What, you have a ghost now?
The worst thing is, this has such incredible pacing and rhyming that I really can't complain, it's just not the best story in my opinion.
That appears to be all, so there's my two cents.
-amelie.
This is fantastic xD