z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

Dark silhouette

by Casanova


I wear a wife beater but I'm not a woman beater,
and if you look in my past you'll know I was a cheater,
but I won't use you as just a space heater
or someone to keep my house neater
I pull up a page and become a repeater
of the same emotion and y'all eat it up like ant eaters
like my outet is two liter y'all can sip from as you choose
but you don't see a millimeter of the meaning I want you to view
And me and my brothers we ain't consanguineous but we don't don't abuse
the fact we're family, and no we don't use
each other it's either we all win or it's lose
We band together like freaks of nature
You offend one of us and we all go off like a cigarette lighter
"Come one come all," and we'll rip ya like a piece of paper
then glue you back in shattered pieces a day later
We don't brag and we don't tell lies
Ridin' together till the day we die
if you in the group then you're on our side
and we have a set code we all abide by


Don't go too far and don't go too fast
Spread the good times and make 'em last
Say your love with your very last breath
and your last words be a graceful silhouette


Now everyone keeps askin' me these questions
"What college you goin' to, what work force you wanna be in?"
I just shrug it off and keep goin'
It's not yours, but my time you're blowin'
I don't have a single word to say about things I ain't figured out
But I do know one thing, and that's without a doubt
I'm a messed up kid and it goes way back
to before I was leader of a pack
when I was just a lil' boy cryin' in the crib
before I'd go to sleep my pa would equip
me with a slap and then say,"i love you," as if it made up for it
and I remember one night my momma told my pa not to hit his kids
but standin' there in the parkin lot she was a moonlit hypocrite
omit what I said and press resubmit
I'll tell ya another story that doesn't matter one bit
I remember my parents tellin' me to love my brothers
but they beat me black and blue till I found love in others
I didn't discover for a long time it wasn't all southerners that were like this
but even in your weakest times you can find your bliss


Don't go too far and don't go too fast
Spread the good times and make 'em last
Say your love with your very last breath
and your last words be a graceful silhouette


Every success story has that gem
the one key piece that puts it together
and if you're not succeeding
you should try to be in a better position
than you already are
But don't go too far
and never go to fastĀ 


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User avatar
18 Reviews


Points: 717
Reviews: 18

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Thu Dec 29, 2016 2:12 am
sapphireluna wrote a review...



Hello!
sapphireluna back for another review.

This was a well written rap/song with well rhymed lyrics.
I enjoyed the choruses a lot, and something I noticed is that they are only 4 sentences. But all of the verses are more. It just seems like you could improve a little on the spacing or the format of the lyrics a little more.

I loved when you wrote: Every success story has that gem
the one key piece that puts it together.
I feel like it's so true! Actually, a lot of what you wrote is full of truth, which is something admirable because good raps are always the ones with truthful lyrics.
(I actually am not 100% sure this is a rap-is it? That's how I'm reading it but that's the thing with song lyrics. You never can be sure of the tune unless your listening to the writer sing it. :).
Anyways, thanks for writing!!!
I really liked this rap/song/lyrics.
I feel like it expresses a lot of deep emotion in a weird but good sort of way.

Have a nice day!
XXX,
sapphireluna




Casanova says...


Yeah, it's a rap XD



sapphireluna says...


K good! I'm glad



User avatar
21 Reviews


Points: 114
Reviews: 21

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Tue Dec 27, 2016 10:41 pm
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KFdreams02 wrote a review...



This kinda got to me. You definitely have a way with emotions my friend. I have some daddy issues so that's probably why. I think you did an amazing job with this. I write song lyrics, but I can't write rap, so you've got me beat. I loved the way you worded things, especially the chorus. Thank you, you reminded where I've come from and how far I've traveled and how much I've healed from that pain. Keep it up!





I'm also not sure why but even though I normally wear cool tones I have a feeling red would have been my color in the 1860s.
— Elinor