Hello, Pinkie!

You have some malware on your computer. It inserts links into your work. While they're not harmful to anyone else, you should take some time to see how to take it off of your computer so nothing weird happens to it (I'm not sure how it will affect your computer if you don't take it off, but it's a good idea to do that).

I think that the bold font is really eye catching and gets the point across fairly well. I think that the narrator could be more specific about why he/she/xe is swearing at "you guys". Also, who are "you guys"? This could be a really interesting story if you put more context and framing around it.

There is a bit of contradiction in the tone later, when an emoticon is used. The tone was rebellious, but then it turns almost cute. I suggest perhaps removing the emoticon so you don't create such a contradiction.

Another thing that I think you could improve is the placement of "bitches". It's not as eye catching because it's hyphenated. You should put it all one line so that the effect is greater.

I also wonder why this character loves to be a villain. I find that a character is more powerfully motivated when they think they're doing the right thing, and their mind can't be changed about doing the right thing.

Anyway, I hope you have a good day! Sometimes we all have bad days, and it can make us really angry at things. I hope that you get to be not as angry soon!

Why you angry?

Pinkie, no! That is so wrong. I know that you told me that this site is so much for you, but you don't have to do that. Maybe we need to talk about this....

Hmm..

I had to review, what can I say?


So, I LOVE how you say "Haha!" it's always been something that I've done, adds some character.

The profanity, eh, could be better. Could have more details on what you mean with being a villain, and how you ARE a villain, or at least the narrator.

Interesting other character, wanna hear more about that one too...


I must wander off!


~Toodles~

Hello.
Interesting work. I'm not quite sure how to review this, but here I am. It's gotta get out of the green room somehow.

I think the enormous type-face and bold-lettering really get the emotion across. Also the much-used exclamation points also serve that purpose.
I'm not sure what the purpose of this work is, however. I'm not seeing anyone who would really want to read this. That's the honest truth. So I'm not sure why you've published this other than because you have the freedom to publish anything, and we can't stop you. I just don't think I understand why you would use 250 points to write this. But you did.

Um... nitpicks:

I love to be villain!

Hey Pinkie!
Saw this work and just had to drop a review.

This character you're playing is very intriguing. I'm interested to see exactly who's behind these words. Someone who revels in villainy can be really interesting, yet you have the note about the sister later on to imply that this character does in fact have the capacity to care. I'm interested as to what the character is so angry about or who they're cursing at.

With such a small amount of words, I really think that the profanity here takes away from the piece rather than adds to it. With a work with so few words, you don't really want to waste two on swear words. I think you could get away with one though.

I just feel like the character is kinda flat, you know? I mean, where are their thoughts? What is their purpose? What kind of evil do they do that they love so much? Why do they love their sister?

I think you have a great base for a character with some potential, you just need to flesh him out.

If you have any questions, comments, or concerns, lemme know.

I'm here if you need to talk,
Megs~

Shut up, guys! I don't want to see ya'll words to me, b****hes

"I love to be villain!"

If you want it to read correctly, should be, "I love to be a villain."


Toodles~

Woo!