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Life of Stephanie Pritchard Summarize

by Pinkiegirl13


Warning: This work has been rated 16+.

Note: This is the re-make of the my story. However, I have to do the summarize first so I get my thoughts together. I hope you likes this one.

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After being a unpopular girl in school and having hard and embarrassing life, she tried to do things to fit in. After winning the art contest and being in the band, she became popular girl in school. However, her life changes as more people that don't like her became her friends and her love ones beings to avoid her.


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301 Reviews


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Thu May 29, 2014 2:29 am
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Snowery wrote a review...



Hey Pinkie!! Silver here with a review for you. :) :)

I've read all of your Stephanie Pritchard stories and have decided to leave on massive review here.

You're writer.

Yes, yes you are, because you've put words on a paper (or screen :D ) to form a story. I'm sure that writing is a passion for you, which is why it always hurts to get negative comments. When I first started writing I got some pretty scathing comments and I still do, especially for things that I'm not used to writing, like romance or poetry. However even though it hurts, sometimes it's good to take a step back and look at what they said. Maybe they were onto something? Maybe I do need to improve in certain areas. I used to be a person who took negative comments or losing quite badly, but I realised that if I was ever going to improve and show the twits out there that they were wrong I actually had to listen to what they had to say. So I honestly hope that you'll listen to what I say today, bear it in mind and use it as a way to improve your works, because we all have room for improvement right? :D

After reading a few of your works I'm going to list all of the things which I think need improvement and that which you are doing well. When you read it, try and think about how you can apply this to your next piece of writing. Start with the simplest things and work your way up to those you think are harder.

Punctuation

So, one of the thing that you have been doing very well is your punctuation. It's great! you generally put your commas in the right place (thank goodness), full stops and capitalisations are all generally where they're supposed to be. Even you dialogue punctuation is pretty good, and that's something many people struggle with. So well done! :D

Sentence Structure

Another thing you've been doing pretty well. There is quite a good variety with your sentence lengths. I also like how you're sentences are structured rather smoothly. They way you actually put your words together is good, it makes sense and the fact that you know how to use your commas makes everything flow well. Great job!! :D :D



Now, off course this wouldn't be a review if I didn't mention some of the things that you can improve on. Everyone gets these in their reviews, even people who have written for years and are really good at it. It's all part of the process of learning and being a better writer. We all want to be better writer right? :D

Tenses

This is by far the biggest problem with the pieces. The use of the wrong tense can really disrupt the flow of the story and make it slightly annoying to read. I think that if you can steadily improve on this, then it will make your story a much better read. We all know that we have three tenses, past, present and future right? Well, it's actually far more complicated than that, we actually have twelve:

Simple Present
Present Continuous
Present Perfect
Present Perfect Continuous

Simple Past
Past Continuous
Past Perfect
Past Perfect Continuous

Simple Future
Future Continuous
Future Perfect
Future Perfect Continuous

Wow, looks long and intimidating right? Not really, because you see if you read you're sentences out loud you'll find that you tend to use the right tense to make it sound better.
Even though I'm sure that you know all of this, it's always good to revise tenses because it's something that EVERYONE struggles with and finds hard to get right. I couldn't find any tenses tutorials on YWS but I found this website and I think it seems helpful: http://www.englishpage.com/verbpage/verbtenseintro.html
It goes through all of them and has some exercises which are great for revision. In fact I might try doing them myself... XD
All I can do is say sincerely, please, please if anything please work on tenses. They are crucial to a story's structure.

Articles

Another recurring problem I've noticed in the works is that often, the wrong or no article is used. "A" and "the" are crucial parts of writing, and not including them or putting the wrong one can often disrupt flow.

For example, from: Life of Stephanie Pritchard~Chapter 1: 8th Grade Prom

Her father is jerk and not caring person.


This sentence would have been perfectly fine, if only you remembered to include the articles. So here, because there are many jerks in the world but Steph's dad is just one of them you would say:

"Her father is ajerk"

Same thing with the next part of the sentence:

"not a caring person."

Do you see what I mean here?

After being a unpopular girl


This one is from this story. Here "a: should be replace with "an" because the next word starts with a vowel.

This is a great website that can help you for any article revision. It ca get really confusing sometimes about which ones to use. I still get confused ;) and so does everyone else, but with practice comes perfect right? :D

Other Points

A lot of people have called your stories "cliche" and said that your protagonist is "too perfect". Maybe it is, but so what? At the end of the day it's your story and as long as you're happy that's really all that matters. Cliches and perfect characters are often a great way to start writing, because it's easier to write what we already know. Sometimes stories start out cliche but as we write them they develop into something deeper and fuller. Either way, it's not a terrible thing to write with cliches, especially if someone is starting out.
Of course it would be nice if further down your life and with more experience you decide to challenge yourself and write something different, but at the end of the day it's up to you.

I wonder, do you read much? Reading is a good way with familiarising yourself with the rules of grammar without having to consciously memorising them. If you like teen fiction then have a look at the novels that Niteowl has mentioned. If you already read, then pick up something more difficult or something that you've never read before. Broaden your horizons, trust me it's awesome once you do. :)

So to summarise. Your punctuation, spelling, and really most of your grammar is good. :) Your descriptions are good too :) The main things that you need to work on are tenses (very important) and articles. Just keep writing, that's always the best way to practice. Also, reviewing is a great way to improve. Not just simple reviewing but detailed reviewing. Pick something that you thought they did really well and complement them on it, or something that you though wasn't that great ad mention it. When you say you liked characters, say why you liked them, why did you like their descriptions, why you thought their plot was amazing. Trust me, from experience I've learnt that this helps A LOT.

I honestly and sincerely hope that I've helped you today. Really I do. I ope that I didn't sound mean :( or patronising. I hoped I helped you understand the importance of taking in feedback and also been able to give you come good feedback myself. I honestly just want to help another writer, as many have helped me. Please, if you ever need anything just send me a message and I'll do my best to help you. Or if for some reason you can't reach me then I'm sure there are many friendly people on this site to help you as well. I sincerely wish you all the best and hope that you will write more and more stories and that with each one comes an improvement. Keep up all the good work you've done so far, and happy writing! :D :D

Your friend,

Silver :)




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Tue May 27, 2014 12:23 am
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niteowl wrote a review...



Hi there Pinkiegirl13! Nite here as requested.

So as this is a summary, it's a bit hard to review. However, it does help us see the story and guess if we might be interested in it. Honestly, this sort of teen fiction probably wouldn't be something I'd read, but I think a lot of people would. The narrative of "unpopular person suddenly becomes more popular" never seems to go out of style--if you play it well, this could be a great story.

One suggestion I'd have is to add a little more specificity. For example, is "the band" the marching band or more of a rock band (as stated in the earlier draft)? The former is traditionally seen as unpopular, but the latter might get her positive attention. I would also consider adding names to the summary. For example "Stephanie was finally the popular girl, and even caught the eye of hunky Luke Benson. But could she really stand to be friends with Stacy? And why won't her fellow nerd Molly text her back anymore?" This can briefly introduce the characters and get people interested in your story.

Also, if you're going to keep with the diary format from your old draft, I suggest really working on your character's voice. Two of my favorites in the teen diary genre, "The Princess Diaries" (not like the movie at all!) and The Confessions of Georgia Nicolson (so hilarious!) both have protagonists with well-developed voices that make you relate to them and want to get to know their story. If you can nail that, you're halfway there!

As always, keep writing! :)





Education is education. We should learn everything and then choose which path to follow. Education is neither Eastern or Western; it is human.
— Malala