Young Writers Society

So I just revamped my review thread, and I found this. I think the reason I kept putting this off and off is because there's not much to be said! This is a lovely poem! I feel your ideas are clearly portrayed, your personification is en point and this is overall an enjoyable experience. Sorry for arriving late, Fort.

HAPPY REVIEW DAY!

This was a really cool poem, and just to say, I loved your choice to out the little crescent moon "emoji" at the beginning. ☽, I mean seriously, it's so cute! So I'll review line by line:

"The crescent moon hangs from the sky," I think this line is fine.

"and you always say you wish" I think the "and" at the beginning kind of stops the flow.

"that this strange night-dweller" I think "that", again, stops the flow. This poem should really move, and these words at the beginning stop it from doing so.

"didn't leave his fingernail clippings lying around." Oooooh, this line is spooky! I love it!

"But I keep hoping he always will," AGAIN! "But" should be taken out. (Sorry if I sound stupid, but . . .)

"because when you stand on the horizon," This line is fine too.

"the moon is your halo." I wish that the last line was different. You should add something else in, this line didn't do it for me. Your last line should always impact the reader more than the rest of the poem all together.

This poem was still really nice. You have a great voice and really meaningful word choice. Really good job on this one.

Alex out!

This is an amazing piece! I'm not typically a fan of poetry, but I definitely liked this one! There was one part that confused me, but I think it's only a slight grammatical error. You said, "But I keep hoping they always will,". I get the feeling that the "they" in this selection isn't supposed to be there. Perhaps it's supposed to say "he"? But other than that, I could find no other errors. This is a wonderful piece. You are very skilled in capturing the beauty of the night and putting it down on paper (or screen? whatever). I applaud you *clap, clap, clap* on a job well done!

Hey fortis, Rhia here to review!

This is so interesting and cute. Short and sweet, too, gotta love that. I love the moon, which drew me to read this, and this is such an interesting reason for someone else to choose to love it to. I really liked it.

I do, however, almost wish it was longer. I would have enjoyed reading imagery filled lines of the moon acting as this person's halo, and how they appeared cast in moonlight, and why having a moon-halo fit them.

Another thing is the third line from the end. There's something kind of off with the wording, it makes it sound slightly awkward. I would just play around with how it's worded.
"But I keep hoping they always will,"

Maybe, "Yet, I hope that they always will," or something. I think it's the "keep hoping" that throws it off, maybe try wording it with something differently. And, but always sounds a little tired out, especially at beginnings of sentences.

Last thing. "because when you stand on the horizon,

the moon is your halo."

Perhaps add a line clarifying that when they stand on the horizon when it's night and that hangnail moon hangs in the sky, it is there halo. Cause right now, it's open. They could be standing there at daytime or the new moon, etc. But maybe that's just me trying to get you to add more so I can read more

Great job, thanks for sharing