And Death spoke to Life,
In a meeting bittersweet,
“Why do people love you,
But always fear me?"
Before Life could answer,
with words light and kind,
Death spoke quickly
of the answer in his mind.
“I am not there to bring light
Life, that’s your job alone.
I am there to take souls
right back to their home.
I’m there to be a shadow
slowly lurking in the dark.
To pull and tug on heartstrings
of the weakened hearts.
But I’m not the monster,
you seem to make me be.
For I am the one thing
that will set people free.
I am the reminder.
To love the soul they bare
and I will be there for them
when you, Life, are no longer there.”
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
137,435 Literary Works • 672,020 Reviews
Holy wow. This poem is absolutely amazing! I love the concept of life and death talking to each other, but the ending of how in a way death is the more caring creature. I would have loved to have seen what life had to say back to death, or if life in this poem was the bad guy. Either way, love the poem and the idea you have.
If you look I actually have two more parts to this, Life's reply, and then Death's reply as well.
I am listening to 'Two Steps From Hell' while reading this... AND IT IS FREAKING AWESOME!!!
I don't think many people viewed Death this way. It is a great way to put him, to make people less afraid of him for when he might come.
I like the creativity of this and think that in a way it is true.
For example "...I will be there for them/when you, Life, are no longer there."
Very true...
I'm being morbid, sorry.
All in All a great thing to read.
With All Do Respect
Whole Some Reader
I'm amazed by how deeply you thought about this! It's a great poem! Keep up the good work!
Just dropping by to say that I loved this concept!
Write on!
---Storm
wow your poem is very awesome its has such a clever meaning and its very horror type.
you know when i was reading it. i got goosebumps all over my body.
i am muslim and i know what that poem means.... its in islam we call them (mout ke fariste) means death's angels. who takes the souls from them when their's time comes.
and when the baby is born on the earth. allah (god) sent their one angels with them to care of them till their deaths. allah (god) gives them a responsibility to take care and to write their sins and good deeds whatever they do on the earth.
really you have written well. i wish good luck and hope to see more from you!!!
Hello aouther2b!!!
I'm hanorah and I'll be reviewing your poem today!!
This poem Is perfect, and very clever!Its actually a genius idea, hands down, nice work!!
It makes me almost feel like......death looks after us more than life does.
It almost sounds like death has been broken by life, like the used to be in love and life broke deaths heart, that's what I see anyway.
I don't see any punctuation,layout or grammar mistakes so well done!! I would I've it a 10/10.
~alonsy!!
P.s. this may actually be the smartest poem I have ever read!
That was the cleverest poem I've read in a while. Such an exquisite idea! To treat life as a person and death as another, well that's how I understood it anyway. To me, this is so much more than just a speech by death for life, but it is like a story of true love. Bringing readers to the eerie reality that death loves us more.
This is magnificent!
Legy
This is perfect. I love how you make death and life speak with eachother. Thru the entire poem I imagine death and life talking. I really LOVED how death expressed who he was towards people.
It is clever and that is what I liked about it.
But it seemed a little immature!
I would rate it three out of five and that is very good.
The lines are interesting.
But this could have been even better so just keep on writing because you are very good!
Love it~
It's interesting the way that people think about life and death.
I like how it's presented in a civil conversation.
I can't remember but this reminds me of another work... forgot what kind...
Thanks for sharing <3
I really liked this. It had a certain dark-to-light contrast..
Also I loved how you made Life and Death seem human-like. Like they were persons, conversing with each other about their problems and thoughts.
I am usually a sucker for a good death poem, and this one really is one of the better I have read on the subject. Way to go..
I also feel like the rhymes are on the spot. It somehow sounds very much like a melody. Try reading it out loud and you'll see what I mean.
P.S Thank you for sharing this beautiful poem with us. ^^
This is pretty sweet.
It's like a comparison between the idea of good and evil, and even how to see each side. How do we know which is right?
I like this a lot, I want to see more
YES!
This poem is amazing! I love poems that personify death. Usually It's death conversing with a person, so this is a fun change. I love how you portray death as an undervalued personality who is envious of the attention that life receives. I also like the point you made about life being nothing without death.
I just love rereading my favorite lines like "To pull and tug on heartstrings" and "I'm there to be a shadow".
It's one of the best poems I've read in a while. Well done
"As thorns linger beneath your dying skin
Evaporating from a soul of angst
All that once you wished to be
Hatred sprouts from seeds of guilt
In childhood times you reminisce
And death shall set you free"
Clifton Redmond. I felt this quote was appropriate.
They rhymes (or close enough) really set this poem off. (I just love it when people rhyme, it adds a sort of.......whimsicalness to the work."
What you are talking about here is very true, and while people might not be able to accept it, in the end, it is not the truth but death that shall set you free.
Just one thing I would like to mention. It seems here that you capitalize the first letter of almost ever line, but three or four lines do not have their first letter capitalized. Maybe this was intentional, and if it is my apologies for mentioning it, but I think that you should capitalize those lines to make them fit in with the rest of the poem.
Of course, you could have intentionally did that, and if you did I'm sorry for mentioning it.
Truthfully, I can find nothing else to criticize about this poem, and even if I did I wouldn't have the heart to mention it. It touched a personal place in my heart, and for that I thank you.
Happy Writing!
HT
Looking it over regarding capitalization I realized I hadn't thought much about how I wanted it to be done. Thank you for bringing it to my attention.
Wow. I really enjoyed reading this. First thing I noticed was the way you set up the stanzas. It almost looks like a person. I really like that. I like how the piece flowed together and I really like your uses of the ABCB rhyme scheme. I thought that was very original and unique. While overall the entire piece is completely original and unique. The last two lines, I believe are the most powerful.
And I will be there for them
When you, Life, are no longer there
It is beautiful and ultimately true because the only thing that is proven eternal, is death.
I did the stanzas like that because the formatting is still not working right for me. Hope it isn't a big issue!
This is pretty sweet.
)
It's like a comparison between the idea of good and evil, and even how to see each side. How do we know which is right?
I like this a lot, I want to see more