Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for mature content.
White silk around her wrists
Binds her hands to her arm
Daddy didn’t like it
When she told mama about the harm
See when daddy has
The necked item with no head
That is just one of the moments
She wishes Daddy would end up dead.
She must not touch daddy,
When he doesn’t touch her,
Like in during the night when he does
the things that shouldn’t be heard.
But she mustn’t tell mama
Of Daddy’s sinful deed.
Mama wouldn’t believe her anyways,
Despite the truth it bleeds.
She hears the creak of her door,
Beyond her narrow grave.
He whispers that he loves her
And is sorry for his rage.
And she lies motionless,
Her duty done for the night.
Lord himself only knows
When she had given up the fight.
Her hands feel numb,
As the pallid silk stains red.
She waits for the memory
To be ingrained into her head.
She feels used,
as she should feel.
Tell me reader, what would you do
If this young girl was real?
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Hey there KrystaG here, I am going to review your piece!(:
First off, I would cut my wrist until I was dead. This is only because I have gone through rape seven times and the people have yet to get in trouble. It is as if the police don't care at all and i constantly want to cut or kill myself. But I have family and friends, so I would tell the mother when he wasn't home. Then I would have her take me to another house until he was taken care of by the cops or away from the home. But for the review part, "The necked item with no head" That made no sense at all to me. I could be reading it wrong or something. "Like in during the night" I think you meant to put "like during the night". "but she mustn't tell mama" Mama needs to be capitalized. Other than those few grammar errors this is a very good poem. And if this is about you and you need advice you can message me I am very great with advice but if not that is cool too.
~XOXO
Hey there KrystaG here, I am going to review your piece!(:
First off, I would cut my wrist until I was dead. This is only because I have gone through rape seven times and the people have yet to get in trouble. It is as if the police don't care at all and i constantly want to cut or kill myself. But I have family and friends, so I would tell the mother when he wasn't home. Then I would have her take me to another house until he was taken care of by the cops or away from the home. But for the review part, "The necked item with no head" That made no sense at all to me. I could be reading it wrong or something. "Like in during the night" I think you meant to put "like during the night". "but she mustn't tell mama" Mama needs to be capitalized. Other than those few grammar errors this is a very good poem. And if this is about you and you need advice you can message me I am very great with advice but if not that is cool too.
~XOXO
Great poem, very shocking. I wouldn't call it horror though, even though its dark, I know yws is in need of more a diverse range of genres.
I didn't get this, it didn't make sense.... then... I think I sort of got it but... yeah. If I was right I think you'll know what I mean already.
It works in that sense and is needable, but as I said, the grammar is a bit wavy.
You need to say arms, not arm. Don't be shy with rhyming, I think non exact rhymes sound more poetic than exact rhymes alot of the time, although you already pulled of all of these rhymes incredibly well.
Anyway great job, very good words here.
Wow. Powerful. Absolutely amazing. I don't know why this doesn't have more likes or other comments. This just really hit home for me.
I usually let others take the wheel when it comes to poetry since it's something that I'm horrible at and don't feel comfortable critiquing, but I felt that I *had* to say something. I'm not going to nitpick this wonderful poem (I didn't see anything wrong with it at all) but rather fawn over it.
This is my favorite poem hands down. The subject matter is a touchy one and is something that I haven't seen often at all, probably because it's something people don't want to talk about it. The truth of the matter is, though, that this does happen. I give you huge kudos for writing this, and my heart goes out to everyone who has gone through something like this.