A Million Letters

Knight Dragon, here to review on this wonderful Review Day!

Technical:
"A million letters to you", I feel that there should be a comma after this line. It's not exactly required or necessary to understand the poem, but it makes it flow a little better, and a pause there lets the reader reflect a little more on what they're about to read in the next line (which helps you emphasize your point).

"That sliver of hope", there should either be a period, or you should put another "that" in front of "someday" (which should be two words, not one) in the next line.

Content:
Wow. That was really vivid. I liked your imagery, and this definitely felt real, like someone's heart was hidden behind that broken mirror and it fell onto this page, into words, when the mirror broke. Very good job, keep it up.

Hope this helps! Happy Review Day!

This poem ripped into my heart more than I'll rip into it. Haha. But really, what a honest and heartbreaking poem. Anyone who ever felt something towards someone who didn't reciprocate knows how this feels.

The words falling on a stone heart is one of my favorite pieces of imagery you used. It would be interesting for you to add how every word the person mentioned feels to you. Does your heart soak it up? Does it sting? Does it rip you apart? Does it make your heart soar?

Just a thought.
But really, I can't think of much to work on that hasn't been mentioned.

I like the transition from hoping that the person will change to the fact that you have changed.

And the image of you smiling through the pain like a broken mirror is a powerful and original. I can relate to putting on a happy front so no one thinks to fix you.
Masking your hurt and longing with a smile.

I especially like how you ended the poem with a question, leaving it open-ended but also bringing it full circle, back to the idea of writing a million letters.

This poem is far from the length of a million letters, but it is full of beautifully worded emotion. I feel you. And that's all a piece of poetry really needs to do.

Keep writing!

Hey aouther2b! When I began to read this poem, I liked the way you started it off. The beginning made sense, like inspiration striking a stone-cold floor. But after that... well, it could use a bit of work. The poetry feels flat. It doesn't have that kind of rhythm. I'm not saying it has to rhyme, but you could give it a sort of structure. I always feel that structure is important in a poem, unless it's a narrative one. For example, when you write:
" Each moment I’d spend

Would be wasted

As these words fall on

Blind Eyes,

Deaf Ears,

Only to land on a stone heart."

Maybe if you tried something like: And each moment I'd spend/ Would be a waste of who I am/ As these words fall on your/ Blind eyes/ Deaf ears/ And slip off your stone heart. Because you're not addressing just a random person out there. You're talking to a SOMEONE. Make it clear. Your poem changes the tone, and it seems out of place how in the beginning you use "you," and then it seems you're just talking generally. Also, when you go:
" And I,

Silly me,

Hold onto

That sliver of hope.."
You might want to go for something like: "And being me,/ Silly me,/ I hold on/ To that sliver of hope..." Since you can't always use I and me interchangeably, you might want to correct this. On the other hand, I like the idea, and I know that with some improvement, it could become a much better piece of work! I hope to read more of what you write!
~Pompadour

hi. sup. g'day(yep im from australia) im alilovessandy(thats my horse. everone thinks its a boyfriend or something.) i love this peice. it is hartbreakingly sad. i want to know why who when. i want to know everything. i would like to point out a few things.
1. the spacing is alittle off putting its like.........you talk...........like this............. like you take big breaths every two words. if that just the stupid formatting that i mayself have fallen victum to many times before then just ignore that part.
2. there are a few speeling misshaps near the begining but i can tell thats just because you wrote it fast. (yes sadly that is kinda obvious.)
3. i love the way you ended on a question (yes critic time is over) its so.....so.......so. omg whats a word for that. im just going to go with intreging. the way you ended on a question is intreging.

i would love to talk heartbreaking poems with you because they are my favouret thing in the world to write ( thats kinda sad isnt it?) i understand if you dont want to because of copywrite and as far as you know im some creepy middle aged pedo hiding in his basement eating chips. im not if it makes you feel anybetter. im a highschool student from australia. (is it strange that i just used that exsample in another review? wow i just realised how creepy i am) anyway to explain myself i am really good at babbling and as i am your first reviewer i am trying to make the most of the situation as i desperatly need points.

anyway in the interest of points. how are you? whats your name? how old are you? where are you from? are you a school studient or a full time writer? do you have a writing partner? i do. we are writing a book together. its gonna be terrifying. i understand if you dont want to answer these thing beacause of, well you know the whole pedo thing. but i sware im actually really friendly and sadly yes i do talk this much in real life ( i have add. just the energy part though.)
anyway i look forward to reading your stuff in the future. good luck in your writing indevors. and have a nice day
this review is from alilovessandy who apreciates the points you have given her.
(again sorry for the babbling and the spelling(ontop of the ADD i have dislexia aswell wich i cant spell( its a horrible irony))