Hey Demoness!

Why is the whole thing italicized? I can understand if it was an aesthetic/style choice. It just felt a bit distracting, I'm so used to italics indicating flashbacks -- and then again, for all I know, this whole piece could be a flashback.

Anyway, I actually like this poem quite a bit :O The rhyme and rhythms for the most part didn't detract from my reading of the poem, and the sounds add to the eerie sort of murdurous atmosphere, such as: despise/sacrifice and the skin/sin.

Though, I'll be honest, some of the rhymes did feel a little forced. An example being that last line there in the third stanza: I hate you for thinking we were strong enough to win. It just made me think: win what? And that part there put me out of the poem trying to place a time/event to this. I'm assuming the win here is just referring to the relationship? Maybe a better phrase would be strong enough to last? I know that sort of ruins the rhyme scheme though (ah - the worry-free joys of free verse XD)

The tones are sort of interesting. There seems to be this conflicting tone that you even point out at one part, the speaker seems to be lamenting and even regretting what she does, but then there's a part that really does seem uncaring/cold and apathetic such as the first two stanzas.

Interesting experimentation there, putting us in the mind of a murderer! The conflicting tones actually work really well. Keep writing, Demoness I'm always up for reading one of your pieces.

~ as always, Audy

"Feel you when I hold you the way I do."
"Sometimes I wonder why I have no remorse."

This poem needs to abandon rhyming, especially since the rhymes are inconsistent. I would like to see you ignore it completely, along with ignoring pauses at the end of the line. It just isn't necessary and some of these lines read really pretty without the pause.
So the two lines I have up top, don't really seem to fit into the poem, along with the first couplet in the poem. The couplet just seems like it is there for rhyming instead of actually saying anything due to the inconsistency it presents with the speaker of the poem. Why would they bother to miss everything, what is it they miss, and why don't they regret missing everything? These absolutes are annoying in poetry for me, because they always come off as melodramatic. I feel the same way with songs.
As for the second one, no remorse, most people know exactly why they feel no remorse, because they don't care for the person, or thing to begin with. A lack of pity/remorse is simply a lack of feeling for the individual/thing. That's not that hard to figure out, and people can typically pick out why they hate something. Even I know why the speaker feels no remorse for this person she's killing, she hates him, so why is this line in the poem?

Overall I feel like it could be a bit more concise and the rhyming needs to stop. "demise" is pronounced with a z sound instead of a soft s, even though it is spelled with an s, that breaks the rhyme in the first stanza and then the rhyming really is annoying in the couplet, forced, and it also sounds forced in the 2-4th stanzas at different points. Play with not rhyming them and see if you can come up with some more unique descriptors like you had at the beginning writing the person's name in ice. That will really make the poem better, along with taking it out of italics.

I really like the way this sounds... very nice ring to it. I give you major props for your creativity and expression within your words. I believe my favorite part of this would have to be... "Your arms linger around me like dead worms, I dig my fingers into your pale frail skin." It gives me chills and inspires me to great affect. I hope you never give up on your writing.