Again, something random I wrote. Dust to dust, ashes to ashes. Burn it if you wish.
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I see you struggle to find the world,
and I let you take your time.
A gentle hand upon your arm,
was enough to help it come out.
The words then flowed and didn't stop,
and I just tried to keep up.
You mesmerized me with what you though,
but I still felt the pain when you walked away.
I never knew you cared so much,
and that is why I stayed at bay.
But now I just only wish,
I could hold your arm again.
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140,571 Literary Works • 673,517 Reviews
This was good. Not great, perhaps, but good. I think it feels a little rushed; I would take a little more time to illustrate the emotions of both characters. But it was sad and sweet in its own way, as well as relatable. Very nice; keep writing!
I really like it!
but I think maybe as a reader it would be easier to keep up with it if there was a little bit more of a background story just to know what is going on, the poem is nice I like it keep going! 
Hey there.
I really like this piece, I find that it flows well and I thought the word choice was great. However, I did get a little confused at this line;
The reason for this is that it sounded like it was meant to rhyme, but there were no other rhymes in your poem. That was just me being nit-pickish, just because I think that it's such a great poem.
~Crimson
Hi there-
Nice piece you have here.. I think that the emotional connection with the reader could be strengthened a bit.. perhaps more background or description of the people in the poem. It's very ambiguous, and gives no real substance to hold onto. I also think that a subtle rhyme scheme might help tighten up the rhythm a bit. It was apparent in the second stanza already.
Overall, this was a nice piece. I really liked your phrasing and word choice, and the consistency in structured stanzas is always nice.
-Coral-