Tears of Blood

This poem is very general. It focuses on a vague group of people throughout a vague timeframe. The point seems to be that I ultimately empathize with the subjects, but I don't know enough about them to do so! Specifying a group or focusing on a single person might make this poem more effective.

I see the red filled oceans,
but there will always be people who cry.

Hi kingolions! I'm Kat, and I'm dropping by for a quick review

So, unfortunately, I'll have to agree with Tim (Mr.Knightley). You see, at first, I was drawn in by your title, it sounded mysterious and interesting, so I had some expectations. Which you did not reach, sadly. With this sort of theme, you could have gone to so much higher levels with this poem! First, expand it. The shortness of it would be cute if it was more... involving, which it is not at the moment. Also, work on your tone and rhythm would be needed. It sounded very dull, too objective for a poem. I can sense how much depth this poem could have, but it hasn't yet.

For example, there is this part where you mention the ocean. At a first glance, I was confused. Why? Well, you said 'blood tears', meaning red, but the first imagine of the ocean that jumps to me is a clear blue water. Maybe try to soothe the way into that? The end if also off putting. I don't find it to be enough to close. It also a bit confusing; if the oceans are red and filled with tears, then obviously people would still be crying.

Anyway, with some revisions and some improvements, this could turn out to be really good ^_^

Good luck!
- Kat

Hi King! I'm here to review.

So...your poem. I'm not really feeling it. Well, I'm definitely feeling something, but it's not admiration or respect for this; it's irritation. Mild irritation, yes, but irritation nonetheless.

I'm irritated because of the tone of your poem. It's very sad and lonely; almost self-centered, in a way, which is weird because you're writing about others' sorrows. I'm going to be honest with you and say that I really don't like poems like this one: The ones that seem so bent on condemning the world as a place of unending sorrow, with the "apparently happy" people living in it being ignorant fools. That's almost laughable to me. Now, you may have had a different idea in mind--I don't think so--but whether you did or not isn't relevant. What you need to know is that this comes of as immature and one-sided.

But the seas are filled with the water,
from the tears we cry.
I see the red filled oceans,
but there will always be people who cry.