I'd Follow You Anywhere

awwwwwwwww(: This is so sweet! Who is this about?

kingolions wrote:I'd told you I care
and I'd do what you want.
#4000FF ">I said I would live with you,
and follow you anywhere.

I followed when you left,
and sold my house to travel #BF0000 ">with you.-I think you should change the wording here. I feel like you're kind of repetitive when you say 'with you' back to back. If you read it out loud, you can tell it just doesn't sound right.
#4000FF ">I said I would be with you,
and follow you anywhere.

I said I would be there,
no matter what happened.
#BF0000 ">I'd follow you anywhere,
even to heaven.-in this part I feel like you should repeat something along the lines of what's highlighted in blue. If you repeated that line twice, it should be repeated at the end of the last stanza too.

I thought this was a really good piece. It it's a little hard to see what your feeling, but this is your personal experience. I thought it was really good. It's one of those poems where its almost as if I'm watching everything your talking about unfold before me.

kingolions wrote:I'd told you I care
and I'd do what you want.
I said I would live with you, Well, this is a bit shakey. Reason being is that, if you live with someone, you care about them, I hope. And it's almost saying you'd do what they want. What this seems like to me is a retort to this girl / guy storming out and now you're saying this to them. But the problem with that is: These lines lack their power and true significance because there hasn't been any action to cause them and we cannot see why they are being said. It' like we started watching a movie a half hour into it, everyone is teary eyed except for us because we have no idea what is going on. Because we're starting at a different point.
and follow you anywhere. We know what it means to care about someone, following them, living with them and doing as they ask are all labors of love, but you don't need to mention these different things, because they are very similar, amost part of a whole, if you will.

I followed when you left,
and sold my house to travel with you. You can follow someone and at the same time sell your house to travel with them? You either: A, don't need both of these lines. Or B, one line is a metaphorical one and this would need to be pointed out a little bit more, perhaps with a simile or a metaphor that can make it more apperent as to how we're supposed to think about this. But if it's not a metaphorical line, I would suggest removing the first line of this stanza, it gives us less of an idea to how you're working with this situation, where as mentioning selling your house, gives us a bit more, not a lot, but it's something.
I said I would be with you,
and follow you anywhere. This stanza is just one big repetition, eh? The problem with that is that it can get boring or annoying. It's like someone saying "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?". If this stanza is ment to focus on how you will follow this person, give us some examples, like where would you follow them? What significant things can you mention to help us see what you're saying?

I said I would be there,
no matter what happened.
I'd follow you anywhere,
even to heaven.[b] Well, that's what I ment by give us an example, haha. And the repetition still isn't flying to well with me.