I live in a world unknown to others,
deep inside the hidden caves.
No others pass through the shallow pools.
Or rest their heads on the grassy plain.
In quiet times I may softly weep.
But I am the only one to hear.
I may talk in hushed muffled tones,
so I can hear sound in my quiet calm world.
If I may let you in,
to the place I forever call home,
I trust you deeply with my soul,
for I live in the depths of my own mind.
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139,537 Literary Works • 672,600 Reviews
This is very nice. I see where you're coming from with this poem, and I can relate a little. Partly, I agree with Tenyo. Make it a bit longer, cause there's more you can add onto this. One spelling error:
I don't think anyone lives in a clam world.Hey Kingolions
This poem is sweet. It's calming, and the imagery you've used is beautiful. At first I thought it looked a bit too short, but after reading it seems like quite a nice length, maybe an extra verse or two wouldn't hurt.
The only part I didn't like was 'I live in the depths of my own mind.' After describing such a beautiful and quiet place, to find that it is something in your head seems... slightly emo. I think if you took away the word 'mind' it would be perfect.
But of course it is your poem, and if that's something that means a lot then by all means keep it that way.
Good job
-Ten