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140,925 Literary Works • 673,749 Reviews
Thanks for the review, you've inspired me to rework this poem.
I like your use of alliteration! Nicely sexual pop-can! This is a dirty little poem, isn't it. I like it. So simple, so understated. Although the use of the word "Fraudulent" is a little forced. "Slovenly" too. Try better words. "Sluttish" works a little better.
Good job! Remember, a poem is never finished, only abandoned.