somehow

Hello, inkwell.

This is lovely. It's a love poem without being a love poem, without describing the person, or the narrator's feelings, just the facts of the relationship that create a great picture in my mind.

I would probably not have chosen to put the snapchat stanza last, though I understand why you arranged it that way. For me, modern romance does not often create an underline, which I tend to think the last stanza should do, but your last line works, as does the snap story idea.

I didn't really understand the first stanza on the first readthrough-- it seems like it's a very inside image, but after I understood what the aim of the poem was, then it got to me. I suggest you toy around with switching the first and second stanza, as the form is pretty solid in the second stanza, and also a more familiar image than the cat with the tongue on the mixtape. Though that's your choice. You're the poet.

Overall, I really enjoyed reading this. I'm starting to see that you're really talented, and I can't wait to read more of your stuff. Be prepared! I hope this proves useful to you! Happy poeting!

Hello,

I'm Ranay:

You chose the correct set of words and grouped them together really well. The feeling from this poem was overwhelming even though it was short and had a great rythem. You definitely got your point through with it and it's extremely impressive. I hope you keep up the good work and keep writing.

^^

This is pretty adorbs, if you ask me.

There are plenty of current-culture themes and phrases throughout the poem. Out first it surprised me, but now I realize that it fits better than it would be without them. It connects directly to the younger generation because Snapchat is something millions of teens use on a daily basis, mixtapes are made all the time, iphones are by far the most popular cellular device, and drugs are utilized (even idolized) regularly in the media.

I disagree on my previous reviewer's commentary on capitalization. It imitates text lingo, and the capitalization would have broken the beautifully simple flow. Poetry does not follow grammar rules. If you had capitalized the 'i's, or the first letter of each line, it would look strange and would have distracted me from what I think is a subtle but essential essence of the poem.

The commentary at the end of each stanza serves to show the significance of the phrases above. While it reveals the traits of the narrator a bit more, he or she's person of affection's presence is throughout the poem in many ways. Whoever this person is, he or she is one of good nature, encouraging the narrator to quit smoking, has good taste in music (enough that the narrator would feel bashful offering him or her music of his or her own that wouldn't otherwise be thought twice about) and a quirky sense of humor (a cute little cat with a tongue sticking out would be weird to someone who wouldn't find it charming).


Whatever this is about (if anything), it is just too darn cute. I ship it.

~Craz

Hello CapitalMonday here for a review. i like to begin on how in the parentheses are answering to what the person was saying. Also how this poem could relate to some people since all have someone we loved and we would do anything for them (is what i think this poem is about.)

Nitpick(s):

(yours are for me)

a tongue onto a cat

Holly signing in for a review!

It was a bit short.

I wonder if you could have given your poem a bit more background.

Capitalization is important. I kinda stopped reading after I noticed the lack of capitalization.

I'm not sure if I understand the first section. A bit of elaboration would have been nice.

Make sure that you know your priorities!

I feel like the first section was a bit of a space filler and that you didn't know what to say there.

Other than those points, it was a very well done poem but could use some improvement.

This poem was very short. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but you can always make a poem longer. Second, I assume that this poem is about an experience you actually had. But the first part made no sense whatsoever. I like the second and third but the first I was like "What did I just read?" You should think of something different to put there. Something that makes more sense and doesn't make me question your priorities.

Other than that, good job. Best of luck n stuff.

Rachelle

Capitalization is important

But the poem is creative

Hello! Thriver here for a review.
Nice poem. Simple, easy to understand. Just the way I like it.
Nice story.
Though I'd like to highlight some of the wrongs I noted.
There is no capitalization from the start to the end. This is pretty awful, because it makes the reader uninterested quickly. It would be better off with capitalizing the first letter on every line.
Love the structure of the poem.
Please capitalize "i".
I didn't understand the first stanza. I'd be happy if you'd elaborate it for me.
I'm not really sure if the lack of punctuation was your choice, or if it is so because of the structure of the poem.
Anyway, nice job. Keep on writing.