Fixed stare at first sight,
deeper than a distraction.
Lusty tones and torrid coils,
a sweltering abstraction -
limned by the foisted libido,
drunken by the vacant eyes,
shedding my every scruple,
shedding my disguise.
Secondhand regrets,
dusted off by morning light -
worn another day,
until another night.
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139,495 Literary Works • 672,584 Reviews
Hi! Firstly, let me tell you how much I loved this. I haven't any nitpicks because this was just perfect. The rhythm is beautiful, the issue exposed in a raw but senciere manner. Tr3x seemed to think this was talking about a one night stand...I thought perhaps the consequences of primerital sex...could you clear this up for me? PM me if you fancy...
- Alia
Nice take on a one night stand. That's what I interpreted it as; am I right?
"Secondhand regrets,
dusted off by morning light -"
Wouldn't the 'secondhand regrets' occur in the morning?
"worn another day,
until another night."
I feel as if you've left this poem on an unfinished, repetitive note. Maybe that was your intention.
That is all.
Okay so I had to google a couple words......LOL but overall I really........loved it! and believe me thats saying alot. you have a really nice flow that goes along with the poem and I gotta say that the last stanza was my favorite. perfect way to end it.
Keep up the good work cuz I would love to read more