blithely allowing myself to become lost—
nothing but trees,
newly coloured
orange, red,
and the counterpoint
of birdsong and water—
to be content.
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139,425 Literary Works • 672,560 Reviews
Well. I can't really review poetry, but just wanted to say I liked this. And it oddly reminded me of Tenyson's The Brook.
The structure is obviously simple and short, but this gives a very cool message for me. I love how this poem flows. I think it's very cool that way. My favorite line is the first, I think it's really clever! The first word should be capitalized at the beginning by the way, but that's just a mini tiny flaw.
Overall, I think you did a good job. The imagery is there, and although it's not much it still works for me.
hello!
Well this is a wonderful poem..... exact and full.. that's the kind of poem I love!
"and the counterpoint
of birdsong and water—"
That's a wonderful thought!
The only thing is I was waiting for another word in the line "orange, red" .. (maybe its just me but) I felt the flow break..
Wonderful poem... Thank you.
Oh, I really love this poem!
The first line really captures the mood and instantly gives the reader a sense of it. I especially love your use of the word "blithely," it's such a beautiful word.
Then the way "nothing but trees/newly coloured" both begin with "n" and have the same syllable count make those two lines really pleasant.
Your next three lines are equally pleasant and give the reader amazing, beautiful visuals. You manage to put so much imagery into just a few words, that makes you talented.
The last line is the only part that doesn't flow as well, in my opinion. But perhaps it's the suddenness of the line that makes the poem so perfect.
Please keep writing, I really loved this!