Indefinite Blue

My review posted twice, but i guess all great things come in pairs right? Haha, have a good one

Ah Inkwell you are surely becoming one of my more intriguing poets on this site.

Now this, is surely a work written with brilliance. I would not be so bold as to put you among the great Chaucer by any stretch, but it is a beautiful arrangement to say the least Let us begin, you do know how I love to analyze ever so deeply.

Unbroken sorrow. Well in if itself alone, and nothing truly by itself. Until you've read the second verse. Now anyone assuming that this piece can be read as three lines is fundamentally delusioned. As graceful as a swan is, it makes all the most sense to have unbroken sorrow in the form of scattered beauty. It is among the most gorgeous of sights to see a grouped up bundle of white feathered graces swimming in silence. But a swan in itself and by itself is a marked symbol of grace and beauty. To add the analogy into a throw of a dice, a game of chance rather, is to say your Unbroken sorrow is merely riding on the gamble that the scattering graces of what is holding it all together remain strong enough to hold the emotions in. You're language is astonishing my friend.

The last line is more of a complementing post order to the whole. To say you will outlive yourself, is meant to say that you have acceptance. Not only of yourself and the baggage that you carry, but also of the legacy you leave behind. It is a sort of eulogy to a personal countenance, a theme we have all but forgotten that, we do outlive ourselves. And that that gamble we wish to never wage on is the balancing act we perform as we keep everything together.

In conclusion, well there was nothing to conclude about. The absoluteness of this is its beauty. Its language is captivating to the listeners who can hear the songs of old verses. Do not be fooled here, this is a brilliant piece. I again am no expert or professional, but I will claim to say your work is well beyond what it's given credit. Well written.

I personally liked this, actually. It's very difficult to write a poem that's this short, even if it's a haiku. With the bit of your explanation of this poem that the previous comment contained, I can see the meaning. I definitely got sadness out of this before reading that, and after reading it I can see how it also talks about casting off sorrow - though again, in the shortest way possible. I recently revised one of my poems - it was originally a page long, and I didn't like the entire middle section, so I cut it down to just the first and last two lines. Now it's a four-line poem, but I think it still gets the story across. And I think that's more or less what you've done here - although this poem is only three lines, you really get across all you need to. I like the metaphor of the dice roll - like the narrator has to take a chance in throwing off the sorrow, or like the narrator's ability to throw off sorrow depends on a chance. Not everyone's going to like such a short poem, and not everyone's going to like a poem they can't understand, but I personally have no problem with this.

~Blue

Just got through getting some answers actually, and figured out a meaning in and of itself by re-reading it when I wasn't doing a thousand things. But, he said to me in a pm:

The idea is casting off sorrows and the emotions of post-sadness.

Unbroken sorrow
swan-scattered in a dice-throw—
you outlive yourself.

Okay, I do not mean to sound rude, or want to sound ignorant, but what exactly is this poem supposed to mean? I've read it five times, and have tried to decipher it, but it makes no sense. There is no story here, no hint as to what it means, or anything. For some reason it makes me think of a bird flying, while someone gambling...So please explain this.



Thank You,
dante93