The delicate crinkle
of a Sun Chips bag,
the kind that recycles,
and affords no guilt
and wilts like a flower -
gilded and gossamer.
A cloudy, brown
bottle of cheap
beer, rolled by
a steady squall -
ringing a deep hollow noise,
and cycling like Sisyphus.
A neglected New Yorker -
its prolix pages,
swelled into sails
by an insouciant gale,
flashing a cartoon flag -
flattened by a foot.
A leaning tower of
ashes, the remains
of a lipped Pompeii -
with pillars of smoke
whisked and stoked
by a stray, sagacious wind.
I let loose a wrapper
from my extended hand (nest),
and it ascends like a bird,
then plummets and lands
on the unapologetic pavement -
with the rest.
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139,429 Literary Works • 672,561 Reviews
Thank you very much for the positive reviews! I'm glad my poem was meaningful to everyone, rather than simply nice. I really appreciate it.
Hey there, Inkwell!
I love this poem for many reasons. I love the smooth flow of it, the way each line flows so smoothly into the next and the words rolls off gently whilst casting a sober and reflective mood. You presented the scene before us, the mood of the speaker, and we felt like we were spectating the park ground just as the speaker was. For most of the part, we were the speaker; this was happening to us. Then you left it to us in the end to summarize and derive a point from it. I love that I could reach that conclusion about littering on my own. No spoon-feeding in this poem! These are all things expected of a good poem, but they are not so easily accomplished, so I'm really pleased to read this solid piece of work. The imagery is strong and speaks loudly. I love that each stanza carries an image that furthers the theme, and pieces together the environment and landscape of the poem. The last stanza is where we become conscious of the speaker and we see some sort of action, rather than just being spectators. It changes the mood of the poem, slightly, but lets it end it in a higher note, so that we're still mulling over what we just saw. I love your use of words, your language, the way things roll of the tongue so smoothly and fit together in such a strong image and mood. In short, brilliantly done!
All the best!
-Mizz
I enjoyed it, but man, reading this can cause guilt like you wouldn't believe. It's good though, it adds to the feeling of the poem, and I like how it it makes the point of how it's the simple things that we litter, and how disgusting they can be when they become litter. very good poem.
Thanks for the reviews guys.
It is about littering.
Is this about littering? I am so guilty of littering. Really, sometimes I can't help it or I don't want to walk to the nearest trash can. Which might be like, two or six long strides away. So, this poem, if it is even about littering, is very good. Keep writing. I enjoyed it.
Hi there.
This is brilliant, and I really mean that.
I love your use of brands and familiar items in the poem. "Sun Chips" is an example of that.
You have the incredible valuable ability with painting very detailed pictures using very few words.
My only problem is the flow. I know it is common to cut sentences off and finish them on the next line but I find it very stunted. It takes away the lyrical quality from this.
Besides that, really good.