Sometimes

Sometimes
Sometimes I wonder,
What death is like,
Or feeling half alive,
Sometimes I wonder
If living,
 Is worth the pain you feel,
If you had to choose,
Why would you choose life?

Sometimes I wonder,
What heaven is like,
Compared to the black abyss below.

Sometimes I wonder,
Is heaven really what you want?

Sometimes I wonder,
What is the difference,
Between the beautiful and the ordinary,
The comparison,
Between the grave,
And rose that sits upon it,
The mourners,
And the tears they cry,
The beauty in white,
And the ugly of black.

Sometimes I wonder,
If space is really there,
Or is it an illusion in my mind,
Illusions that the world comes up with.

Sometimes I wonder,
If staying,
 Is better than leaving,
Or is it the opposite?

Sometimes wondering doesn’t help.

Sometimes wondering isn’t there.

Sometimes some people will think,
Is there ever going to be,
A difference between life,
And death,
And being half alive,
 Stuck between the two.

One day they’ll wonder,
Is living worth the pain?

One day they’ll wonder,
Is there heaven in death?
Or a deadly abyss in life.

You will ask,
What is the difference,
Between the beautiful,
 And the ordinary.

The bitterness of the grave,
And sweetness in a flower,
The sadness in a mourner,
And the salt in their tears,
The beauty in my white
The ugly in my blackness.

Sometime you’ll wonder,
 About many other things,
Between love and hate,
Memories and smiles,
Thoughts and ideas,
Hope and regret,
Words and actions.

Sometime I will wonder,
Was it worth it?
Was it worth it to live?
Or should I have died,
 When the chance came?

No one will know,
For now,
Until time ends my weave of life,
Wondering,
Is what always comes to mind.