Changes

by demib

Published February 15, 2012

In Poetry Folder

The night flows,
From one hour,
To another,
The moonlight explodes,
Into a shining new light,
A blue light,
Leading me to a new world,
But when morning,
Creeps into a dance,
I fall away,
From the night I loved,
Taking me to the early sunset,
I wait for the night,
To approach the morning,
Taking over again,
Dancing with the stars,
With the heroes in the skies,
My changes come with the night...
 

 
Comments & reviews · 2
User avatar
anejaaastha24
Review
anejaaastha24 wrote a review Review · Sep 24, 2014

Hello! It is a really nice piece of poetry.I like the whole theme of it.It seems kind of different and unique to me.It is a pure fantasy but I think you should link it to the real world a bit.Another thing, try breaking it in paragraphs.Breaking it in paragraphs would give it a better look.Also, try using full stops(.) at some places instead of commas(,). You could also try to give it a better rhythm by using some rhyming words after all it is a poem.I really like that moonlight explodes thing.It helps you imagine the scene.It is quite good a poem.Keep it up and keep writing.....

User avatar
lyssiekins
Review
lyssiekins wrote a review Review · Mar 31, 2013

Hey there, beautiful poem. Very fantastic. I very few critiques for this poem, except that I think it would benefit from some complete stops -> . instead of constantly commas. It helps build a better flow. I don't like the sentence "creeps into a dance". That imagery doesn't really work together. Maybe something like, creeps into view. Morning is whats killing your night dance. Other than that I love it its very emotive.



She conquered her demons and wore her scars like wings.
— Atticus